Sexual Harassment Support
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Recovery From Sexual Harassment
For the Victims
Moving on:
Counseling and Therapy
Therapists: If you can find a therapist who understands sexual harassment, and the common dynamics
and effects, then we recommend therapy as an avenue. However, at this time, the health and human
services community is only just beginning to acknowledge that there can be long term effects from
sexual harassment. Most therapists and psychologists are not schooled in this area. Be very careful,
because an ill equipped therapist can add to the damage that is already there. A counselor with
experience in sexual assault or sexual abuse would be a possible substitute. If harassed at work or
school, do not utilize the institution's mental health staff as their primary duties will be to protect the
institution from liability. Seek help outside the environment where the harassment occurred.
Local Resources: Your local women's center, or rape crisis center could be possible avenues for
support and resources. This may depend on the degree and duration of the harassment; however,
these centers offer support groups, counseling, and even financial and housing assistance to those
who qualify. They are also resources for referrals for legal assistance and advocacy. Again, if you opt
for counseling, be sure and request someone who has an understanding of sexual harassment and the
common effects.
RAINN has an extensive list of local sexual assault and counseling resources, organized by state.
Health Care Response Survey
At this point, the response of Health Care professionals to sexual harassment is very mixed. Hopefully,
as education about sexual harassment improves, this will change.
If you have sought out counseling or support from a Health Care professional (counselor, therapist,
doctor, etc.) we would like to know about your experience. Please share with us by filling out our very
brief survey on the Health Care response to sexual harassment. Health Care Survey
For friends and family members of sexual harassment victims:
A sexual harassment or stalking victim needs to:
- Feel safe.
- Be believed.
- Know it wasn't their fault.
- Take control of their life.
Things you can do to help
What your friend or loved one will need is dependant on the severity and duration of the abuse they have
undergone. Still, the list below is a good start in terms of supporting anyone who has been sexually
harassed or stalked:
- Listen, don't judge. Try to simply understand their feelings.
- Be there and give comfort. Be there as much as you can and encourage them to talk to others.
- Help keep them from becoming isolated. It is common for any victim of trauma to withdraw from
those around them. Try to keep them in the here-and-now, and connected to other people.
- Respect their boundaries
- Encourage them to seek professional help, such as counseling (See Therapists above, and the
Important Note beneath it.)
- Be patient. Don't try to rush the healing process or quickly "make it better."
- Accept their choice of what to do about the sexual harassment or stalking -- don't be overly
protective. At the same time, do not be judgmental.
- Ask them what they need, help make a list of options, then encourage them to make their own
decisions. Even if you disagree, it is very important that they make their own decisions and have
them respected. It's important they be given the space and control to take charge of their lives
again. You can certainly make suggestions, but do not try to manipulate them into doing what
you think is best.)
- Put aside your feelings and get support for yourself. It may be too overwhelming for them to deal
with your angry feelings on top of their own. If you have strong angry feelings or feelings of blame
toward the victim, talk to a friend, call a hotline, or obtain counseling for yourself. (It's would be
best for you to also heed the advice above on obtaining counseling, and see the Important Note
above.)
Develop an explanation of what happened. Try to understand how and why these events took
place.
Get beyond self blame and shame. Accept that it wasn't your fault, that you didn't cause it.
Research all of your options, and carefully weigh them. It is important for you to feel you have
choices and as much control over your life as possible.
Strengthen your support network: Re-establish ties with those you may have distanced yourself
from because of the harassment. Try to form new relationships with people who will be
supportive. Maintain firm boundaries with people who are not supportive of you.
Integrate the experience into your life's journey. Bring meaning to what happened to you by
dedicating part of your life to addressing the harassment issue in a more global way. For example,
- write about what you have experienced and what you learned, and publish your writings
- begin a support group, or a discussion group focusing on gender discrimination issues
- build a website focusing on harassment, or start a blog to share your experiences and
opinions
- involving yourself with organizations dedicated to combating sexual harassment
- talk to other groups and organizations about the problem
Accept that it happened.
Validate your experiences--don't bottle up the hurt and anger:
- talk to people about what happened
- respect your perspective and experience--do not let others
tell you how you should see feel about the situation
- join a support group for people who have been through
sexual harassment
- write about your experience and how it effected you, share
your story with others
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Important Note about counseling and therapy
*Protect your health care information: It is common for employees of a company or
institution (and their lawyers) to try to gain access to a sexual harassment victim's medical
records and other health care information. This is so they can gain information that will
hopefully discredit a victim, or even blame them for the harassment. If you seek counseling
or therapy, if at all possible, do not sign any information releases unless commanded by a
judge to do so. If you need to sign one for your insurance company, make sure that the
release stipulates that this is for insurance purposes ONLY. Type up your own release if you
have to. Make sure the therapist consults with you before discussing your case with anyone.
Know where your health care information is going.
*If you were sexually harassed in an academic or health care environment: Check the
credentials of any therapist or counselor you talk to and make sure they are not affiliated with
your school or place of employment. (For example, find out if they are currently enrolled at
your school, obtained their degrees there, teach there, or are also employed at a hospital
where you work.) You may experience confidentiality violations, and even backlash and
retaliation, because of the their loyalties to these institutions or the people who work there, or
even because of jealousy over the sexual attention you are experiencing. Women's centers
and crisis centers often fill out their staff rosters with interns earning degrees from local
colleges and universities, and you will face the same risks if you are assigned one as a
counselor who may also be attending your school. (This is all very sad, but also very true.)
Be sure that any counselor you talk to will be supportive of you regardless of where you were
harassed, or who did it.
Recommended:
Also, books
focusing on
recovery
from sexual
assault or
abuse will be
helpful.
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A support community for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.