| Sexual Harassment Support |
Support and information for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.
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If you are being stalked, click here
Get the message across
Don't expect anyone to read your mind: Tell the harasser firmly that their attention is unwanted, or have
someone you trust do this for you. In the workplace, Human Resources offices often have "conflict
resolution specialists" or mediators who can offer assistance. For peer harassment at school, many
colleges and universities have Ombuds departments that offer mediation services, and they may be
able to provide you with assistance in dealing with the situation. However you choose to confront the
harassment, be firm and direct:
Important note: Schools and some companies are now requiring immediate intervention if they
learn there is sexual harassment occurring. If you are a student being harassed by a teacher,
professor, or other employee from your school, any school employee you speak to about the
harassment is required by law to report the behavior to the administration. This is also becoming policy
at some companies--if you are being harassed by another employee, check your company sexual
harassment policy before talking to a supervisor as they may be obligated to report the harassment to
the higher-ups. If your situation reflects either of these, it's best to be careful who you talk to, or be sure
of the timing, otherwise you may end up in a formal investigation without wanting to be, or before you are
ready.
Document
Document the harassment: You will be tempted to ignore the behavior, telling yourself it will stop
eventually. However, in most cases, the harassment continues. So, keep a log of what is happening,
particularly if the perpetrator is a teacher, professor, or supervisor. Document each incident, including
dates, times, names of witnesses, etc. Save e-mails to a disc and keep it at home. Do not throw away
any mail or email that is related to the harassment, even if the mail is anonymous.
If it is legal in your state or country, tape record interactions and meetings with the harasser/s by carrying
a hidden, voice-activated tape recorder, or wear a "wire" connected to a tape recorder. If the harassment
occurs repeatedly in the same place, such as your office or cubicle, try hiding a motion-triggered camera
to capture video-taped evidence--start with a "nanny cam" and disguise it to blend in with the
surroundings such as putting it in a plant pot base or a tote bag.
Document negative actions: Document any negative actions that you experience because of your
refusal to submit to sexually harassing behavior--for example, if you are given a poor evaluation, a
demotion, or low grade because of your refusal to cooperate with the sexual demands or behavior of the
harasser/s.
Document your work and/or school performance. Keep copies of performance evaluations and
memos that attest to the quality of your work. Save papers and exams that have comments by your
professors. Ask for written recommendations from your teachers that you can keep on file for later. The
harasser may question your work or school performance in order to justify their behavior.
Formal complaints
Begin with available grievance channels: If the behavior continues, use whatever grievance
procedures are available at your school or workplace. In the workplace, the Human Resources
department is usually responsible for dealing with sexual harassment complaints, at least initially. At
school, sexual harassment will be in the "domain" of any number of departments: affirmative action
office, ombudsman, student affairs office, dean of students, etc. (Your Student Handbook should be
able to tell you which department handles sexual harassment grievances.) Mediation may be the best,
first step with peer harassment. But be aware that the primary goal of any department you consult will
be to protect the school or business from liability--ethics are not likely to guide their decisions, nor will
they be likely to guide many of the people involved in your situation. In many cases, complainants are
treated like "the enemy."
Power in numbers: Find others who have had similar experiences with the harasser, or within the
environment where the harassment is occurring. See if they will join you or support your complaint.
Document retaliation: Retaliation for complaining about sexual harassment is also illegal. Document
any instances you experience just as you would the harassment. It is likely that the majority of the
hostility comes from colleagues of the harasser, but this does not change the legality. All retaliation is
unlawful regardless of who is doing it.
Keep notes of meetings and phone conferences: Be sure to keep detailed notes of every meeting you
have regarding the harassment, including dates, names of participants, and the meeting results. If
possible, you might want to tape record the meetings, or bring an advocate or friend so you have a
witness to what transpired. It is also a good idea to send written summaries of the results to the
attendees after each meeting. (It shows the institution you are keeping on top of things, and that you
mean business.)
Stay composed: Most importantly, remain calm and professional during the entire process as your
demeanor and psychological state will be under scrutiny. Save your anger for a private counselor's
office.
If you have exhausted all the avenues and the problem continues or worsens, we recommend you
contact a lawyer (if you have not done so already). There are a number of legal options for you to take. If
you are thinking of taking legal action, it is best for you to not leave school or your job without consulting
a lawyer first. Note: institutions, particularly universities, have been known to drag out investigations so
that too much time passes for the victim to file a lawsuit later on--there is usually a 1 year statute of
limitations on cases. If you suspect this is happening, go ahead and consult a lawyer now.
PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU ARE BEING SEXUALLY HARASSED AT WORK OR SCHOOL, AND THE
PERPETRATOR IS A SUPERVISOR OR TEACHER, WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU CONSULT WITH A
LAWYER , EVEN BEFORE YOU FORMALLY REPORT THE HARASSMENT. If at all possible, do not begin
the process of standing up for yourself without an experienced advocate. If funding is a problem, many
lawyers will sometimes provide services on a contingency or pro bono basis. The American Bar
Association provides information on legal help in your area, including pro bono programs. Your local
women's center may also be able to supply referrals. The AAUW has a Legal Advocacy Fund for sexual
harassment in school.
Note on workplace harassment: In most cases, a lawyer will require that you file with the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) before they will take on your case. The EEOC will only
rule on cases where the harassment occurred within the last year, so the incidents will have to be
relatively recent. It is best that you do not leave your job if you are thinking about filing a formal
complaint with the EEOC, as this will weaken your case.
Note on sexual harassed in school: Recent changes to Title IX hold academic institutions more liable
for protecting sexual harassment complainants from retaliation. Also, your identity must be kept
confidential except where necessary for investigative purposes. Know your rights in this process ahead
of time. If the institutional grievance channels do not clear up the situation, besides contacting a lawyer,
contact the U.S. Department of Education's Office of Civil Rights.
For more information about the sexual harassment and the legal process (i.e. state laws, more legal
resources) refer to the Legal Zone in the Resource Center at the Forum.
Get the message across
Don't expect anyone to read your mind: Tell the harasser firmly that their attention is unwanted, or have
someone you trust do this for you. In the workplace, Human Resources offices often have "conflict
resolution specialists" or mediators who can offer assistance. For peer harassment at school, many
colleges and universities have Ombuds departments that offer mediation services, and they may be
able to provide you with assistance in dealing with the situation. However you choose to confront the
harassment, be firm and direct:
- Tell the harasser what they have done--name the behavior. Be specific, straightforward, and
blunt. - Demand that the harassment stop.
- Don't make excuses for the harasser--hold them accountable. Do not pretend nothing has
happened. - Make it clear that everyone has the right to be free from sexual harassment. Objecting to
harassment is a matter of principle. - Stand your ground and stick to your own agenda. Don't respond to the harasser's excuses or
diversionary tactics. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated by others into backing down. - Remember, the harasser's behavior is the issue--not your behavior.
- Reinforce your statements with strong, self-respecting body language: eye contact, head up,
shoulders back, a strong, serious stance. Don't smile. Timid, submissive body language will
undermine your message. If the harassment continues, repeat yourself if you have to. - Respond at the appropriate level. If the harassment was physical, combine your verbal response
with a physical one (i.e. grasp their arm firmly while saying "No!") - Talk about the harassment to others. Staying silent protects harassers. (60)
Important note: Schools and some companies are now requiring immediate intervention if they
learn there is sexual harassment occurring. If you are a student being harassed by a teacher,
professor, or other employee from your school, any school employee you speak to about the
harassment is required by law to report the behavior to the administration. This is also becoming policy
at some companies--if you are being harassed by another employee, check your company sexual
harassment policy before talking to a supervisor as they may be obligated to report the harassment to
the higher-ups. If your situation reflects either of these, it's best to be careful who you talk to, or be sure
of the timing, otherwise you may end up in a formal investigation without wanting to be, or before you are
ready.
Document
Document the harassment: You will be tempted to ignore the behavior, telling yourself it will stop
eventually. However, in most cases, the harassment continues. So, keep a log of what is happening,
particularly if the perpetrator is a teacher, professor, or supervisor. Document each incident, including
dates, times, names of witnesses, etc. Save e-mails to a disc and keep it at home. Do not throw away
any mail or email that is related to the harassment, even if the mail is anonymous.
If it is legal in your state or country, tape record interactions and meetings with the harasser/s by carrying
a hidden, voice-activated tape recorder, or wear a "wire" connected to a tape recorder. If the harassment
occurs repeatedly in the same place, such as your office or cubicle, try hiding a motion-triggered camera
to capture video-taped evidence--start with a "nanny cam" and disguise it to blend in with the
surroundings such as putting it in a plant pot base or a tote bag.
Document negative actions: Document any negative actions that you experience because of your
refusal to submit to sexually harassing behavior--for example, if you are given a poor evaluation, a
demotion, or low grade because of your refusal to cooperate with the sexual demands or behavior of the
harasser/s.
Document your work and/or school performance. Keep copies of performance evaluations and
memos that attest to the quality of your work. Save papers and exams that have comments by your
professors. Ask for written recommendations from your teachers that you can keep on file for later. The
harasser may question your work or school performance in order to justify their behavior.
Formal complaints
Begin with available grievance channels: If the behavior continues, use whatever grievance
procedures are available at your school or workplace. In the workplace, the Human Resources
department is usually responsible for dealing with sexual harassment complaints, at least initially. At
school, sexual harassment will be in the "domain" of any number of departments: affirmative action
office, ombudsman, student affairs office, dean of students, etc. (Your Student Handbook should be
able to tell you which department handles sexual harassment grievances.) Mediation may be the best,
first step with peer harassment. But be aware that the primary goal of any department you consult will
be to protect the school or business from liability--ethics are not likely to guide their decisions, nor will
they be likely to guide many of the people involved in your situation. In many cases, complainants are
treated like "the enemy."
Power in numbers: Find others who have had similar experiences with the harasser, or within the
environment where the harassment is occurring. See if they will join you or support your complaint.
Document retaliation: Retaliation for complaining about sexual harassment is also illegal. Document
any instances you experience just as you would the harassment. It is likely that the majority of the
hostility comes from colleagues of the harasser, but this does not change the legality. All retaliation is
unlawful regardless of who is doing it.
Keep notes of meetings and phone conferences: Be sure to keep detailed notes of every meeting you
have regarding the harassment, including dates, names of participants, and the meeting results. If
possible, you might want to tape record the meetings, or bring an advocate or friend so you have a
witness to what transpired. It is also a good idea to send written summaries of the results to the
attendees after each meeting. (It shows the institution you are keeping on top of things, and that you
mean business.)
Stay composed: Most importantly, remain calm and professional during the entire process as your
demeanor and psychological state will be under scrutiny. Save your anger for a private counselor's
office.
If you have exhausted all the avenues and the problem continues or worsens, we recommend you
contact a lawyer (if you have not done so already). There are a number of legal options for you to take. If
you are thinking of taking legal action, it is best for you to not leave school or your job without consulting
a lawyer first. Note: institutions, particularly universities, have been known to drag out investigations so
that too much time passes for the victim to file a lawsuit later on--there is usually a 1 year statute of
limitations on cases. If you suspect this is happening, go ahead and consult a lawyer now.
PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU ARE BEING SEXUALLY HARASSED AT WORK OR SCHOOL, AND THE
PERPETRATOR IS A SUPERVISOR OR TEACHER, WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU CONSULT WITH A
LAWYER , EVEN BEFORE YOU FORMALLY REPORT THE HARASSMENT. If at all possible, do not begin
the process of standing up for yourself without an experienced advocate. If funding is a problem, many
lawyers will sometimes provide services on a contingency or pro bono basis. The American Bar
Association provides information on legal help in your area, including pro bono programs. Your local
women's center may also be able to supply referrals. The AAUW has a Legal Advocacy Fund for sexual
harassment in school.
Note on workplace harassment: In most cases, a lawyer will require that you file with the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) before they will take on your case. The EEOC will only
rule on cases where the harassment occurred within the last year, so the incidents will have to be
relatively recent. It is best that you do not leave your job if you are thinking about filing a formal
complaint with the EEOC, as this will weaken your case.
Note on sexual harassed in school: Recent changes to Title IX hold academic institutions more liable
for protecting sexual harassment complainants from retaliation. Also, your identity must be kept
confidential except where necessary for investigative purposes. Know your rights in this process ahead
of time. If the institutional grievance channels do not clear up the situation, besides contacting a lawyer,
contact the U.S. Department of Education's Office of Civil Rights.
For more information about the sexual harassment and the legal process (i.e. state laws, more legal
resources) refer to the Legal Zone in the Resource Center at the Forum.
Links:
Impact Fund (funding
for litigation)
American
Association of
University Women
Advocacy Fund
American Bar
Association
National
Employment Lawyers
Association
National Women's
Law Center
International:
International Labor
Organization (ILO)
International
Association of
Human Rights
Agencies
Amnesty International
Impact Fund (funding
for litigation)
American
Association of
University Women
Advocacy Fund
American Bar
Association
National
Employment Lawyers
Association
National Women's
Law Center
International:
International Labor
Organization (ILO)
International
Association of
Human Rights
Agencies
Amnesty International
What You Can Do If You Are Being Sexually Harassed
| Sexual Harassment: Your Guide to Legal Action Buy it from Amazon |
| Sexual Harassment: A Practical Guide to the Law, Your Rights, and Your Options for Taking Action Buy it from Amazon |
Recommended:
| Back Off: How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers Buy it from Amazon |
Home
Myths About
Sexual Harassment
Sexual Harasser
Types and Patterns
Sexual
Harassment in the
Workplace
Sexual
Harassment In
Education
Stalking
Effects of Sexual
Harassment
What You Can Do
If You Are Being
Sexually Harassed
Myths About
Sexual Harassment
Sexual Harasser
Types and Patterns
Sexual
Harassment in the
Workplace
Sexual
Harassment In
Education
Stalking
Effects of Sexual
Harassment
What You Can Do
If You Are Being
Sexually Harassed
