Coping, writing and working through your feelings
I, by no means, have all the answers – but I can share with you how I have gotten through the last 14 months. I’d be lying if I wasn’t honest and didn’t tell you I’ve felt very desperate, very alone at times.
I have started writing and I write a lot. Everyday. I journal for myself and I write to Representatives and Senators from my State, I write to the Governor, I write to our Congresspeople, I write to the president-elects, I write to stars and people with perceived power that could make a difference in the subject of sexual harassment. If they have a website and contact info – they get either a hand written note or an e-mail.
Some of these people I have written to more than once. I wrote an article for a Women’s Newspaper last summer and they ran with it and it felt incredibly liberating because I was being heard. I write because I need to talk for those who don’t have a voice and I need to make a change in our society for the way women are treated in academia, work, etc. I guess I have decided this was suppose to be a part of my life and while I would not have chosen being sexually harassed – the assistance, the help, the experience, the lessons, I can share with someone and help them – in the end is the reward from what I went through. At the end of the day, I rely on my spirituality to get me through and I think God had a greater plan for me.
Be prepared that you may not always get great responses – I wrote a letter recently to a very influential women in my own community and she wrote me a letter back saying – “I just can’t believe you’ve let this affect you so greatly, just ignore it and get on”….I cried when I read this, but it also ignited a fire in me and I decided to push even harder to make a change – it’s about changing one mind at a time. But, it made me start making contacts again with magazines and newspaper and two of them will be doing a story on sexual harassment in the months to come.
Maybe writing isn’t for you – but I have found it to be an incredible outlet for me and making others aware of the sick behavior we all have to endure. At first, it may have been about making sure my company felt the pain, but I’ve moved past that – and it’s now about making sure we have law changes and stricter fines. I’ve often said sexual harassment is a form of sexual assault – if people get jail terms for sexual assault and harassment is a form of that – why aren’t these people getting jail terms, police records, you name it. The second thing is – the laws need to change – so that when people knowingly do the crime – they do the time. And, what I mean by that is the fines need to be so catastrophic that the company is either forced to adhere to the law or they can file bankruptcy. I do think our time is coming and I do think things are about to change.
I wanted to end this by saying – there is no one that understands sexual harassment fully unless you have gone through it. It’s not about getting over it – it’s about society finally doing the right thing and making sure “we have nothing to get over”.
