Speak Up! Blog

Quid Pro Quo Harassment is “something for something” abuse. This occurs when a job or educational benefit is directly tied to a subordinate or coworker submitting to unwelcome sexual advances. An harasser may ask for sex in exchange for a promotion, or a plum assignment, or necessary/extra work resources. In it’s most extreme, the harasser demands the victim provide sex to keep their job, or for some kind of help or access to a resource that is needed for the victim to do her/his job or to advance at school. (If they can’t do their work, they will get fired or have to drop out of school programs, etc.)

Its been argued that Quid Pro Quo can be unintentionally implied if the harasser is in a postition of power over the other person. In these situations, the target may feel they have to give into the attentions of an harasser even if there was no stated threat of retaliation if they refused. The target gives in out of fear of what will happen if they don’t. For example, they give in because they believe they will be fired if they don’t, or failed from a course, etc. I’ve heard this point-of-view many times, and it’s one of the reasons many experts argue that there is no such thing as a consensual sexual relationship between a superior and a subordinate.

Quid Pro Quo harassment can also occur in the aftermath of sexual relationships in the workplace or at school (consensual or not is arguable) when one person does not want the relationship to end. The harasser may try to keep things going by threatening the other with promises to terminate them or to sabotage their ability to do their work (again, usually by withholding needed resources). Or, the harasser may just start retaliating until the victim gives in and starts to have sex with them again. I have heard of several stories where the harasser threatened to file criminal charges of theft/embezzlement against the victim who had been given personal use of a credit card, or other monetary assistance, while the sexual relationship was still going on. (Of course, there would be no charges pressed if the employee consented to providing sex again to her employer.)

This woman’s story is an example of where the threat of firing was implied after she had missed work recovering from a neck injury. Another example is Cindy’s story whose boss wanted sex in exchange for transportation to her job. When I was first defining my own sexual harassment experience (by professors), one of the first students I talked to about it told me about when her biology professor asked for sex in exchange for higher grade on an exam. Pam’s story describes how her teacher wanted to work out a “deal” when she failed a make-up exam. I suspect the most recent story I published (John’s story) also has elements of Quid Pro Quo harassment–and yes, by another professor. Humiliated shared a story of harassment by a police officer who told her he would help her fight a ticket if she went out to dinner with him.

Lindsay’s story shows how someone can give into a bosses demands for sex out of fear even if there was no threat of retaliation if she refused.

Quid Pro Quo can be one of the most damaging forms of exploitation because it makes the victim feel complicit in their abuse. We hear from them here at SHS, but they are often the quietest voices because they are so wracked with guilt and shame at what they believe they allowed themselves to be drawn into. They rarely publish their stories, usually burying their experiences in comments to others, or sharing only at the closed support group. In a culture that gives little support to harassment victims, these get the least because so many people blame them for giving in, just as they blame themselves. A woman who posted a comment the other day shared an amazing story, but she won’t formally publish it because her family is too devastated by what her boss has put her through.

I know that the economy will make this problem much worse. As people are hanging onto their jobs for dear life, many people will be locked into harassment situations–many of them Quid Pro Quo–because there will be so few options for them if they leave. If the only options are providing sex vs. not being able to pay your bills and put food on the table, well, we all know the choices some will be forced to make.

I shudder at the thought of what may be going on right now as I type this.

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