Comments on: Wanting it both ways: Hollaback against the hypocrisy in some sexual harassment complaints http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/2010/01/04/wanting-it-both-ways/ Muses, ramblings, and vents on the sexual harassment issue Sun, 18 Jul 2010 14:45:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jennifer, admin http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/2010/01/04/wanting-it-both-ways/comment-page-1/#comment-8177 Jennifer, admin Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:40:57 +0000 http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/?p=986#comment-8177 Someone agrees with me. See "'Save the males': Ho culture lights fuses, but confuses" http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2008/06/30/2008-06-30_save_the_males_ho_culture_lights_fuses_b.html Someone agrees with me. See “‘Save the males’: Ho culture lights fuses, but confuses”

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2008/06/30/2008-06-30_save_the_males_ho_culture_lights_fuses_b.html

]]> By: Jennifer, admin http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/2010/01/04/wanting-it-both-ways/comment-page-1/#comment-8015 Jennifer, admin Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:34:07 +0000 http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/?p=986#comment-8015 It is true that people will deliberately use sexual harassment to degrade and abuse. But you are imposing your own your own personal comfort zone and definition of sexual harassment and saying it is the universal and legal definition. Legally, <strong>unwanted</strong> sexual attention <strong>IS</strong> sexual harassment. And many women view something is mild as oogling, making catcalls, or someone trying to pick them up, as degrading and sexist, particularly if it's her boss doing it. And when this happens on the street, with the perp being a stranger, it's called "street harassment" and there are groups all over the world like Hollaback trying to fight this. Besides, this article was not about "what is sexual harassment." I've gone into that in other articles, and I saw no reason to be so redundant. This article is about hypocritical behavior on the part of some sexual harassment complainants. And it is definitely a problem. Please note that I included a paragraph that addresses that harassers will often blame their degrading behavior on the victim, because of how she acts or what she wears. (One of these days I'm going to get a comment from someone who has actually read the entire article I've written.) It is true that people will deliberately use sexual harassment to degrade and abuse. But you are imposing your own your own personal comfort zone and definition of sexual harassment and saying it is the universal and legal definition.

Legally, unwanted sexual attention IS sexual harassment. And many women view something is mild as oogling, making catcalls, or someone trying to pick them up, as degrading and sexist, particularly if it’s her boss doing it. And when this happens on the street, with the perp being a stranger, it’s called “street harassment” and there are groups all over the world like Hollaback trying to fight this.

Besides, this article was not about “what is sexual harassment.” I’ve gone into that in other articles, and I saw no reason to be so redundant. This article is about hypocritical behavior on the part of some sexual harassment complainants. And it is definitely a problem.

Please note that I included a paragraph that addresses that harassers will often blame their degrading behavior on the victim, because of how she acts or what she wears. (One of these days I’m going to get a comment from someone who has actually read the entire article I’ve written.)

]]> By: Chejon http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/2010/01/04/wanting-it-both-ways/comment-page-1/#comment-8013 Chejon Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:18:13 +0000 http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/blog/?p=986#comment-8013 You are confusing sexual attention with sexual harassment. Ogling at or trying to pick up sexy women is a different thing than deliberately humiliating, demeaning, and degrading women in order to establish male dominance or to chase women out of the workplace to establish male turf. Just like the difference between sex and rape. Attempting to get sex is a desire to get intimacy or just plain horniness, while rape is an attempt to control, humiliate and degrade, and to have power over women. Furthermore, sexual harassers and rapist always try to blame the victim by saying she was asking for it--because she was out late, walking alone, drinking, or wore tight pants. If a man told me I had a nice ass, I would not consider it sexual harassment. If my boss continually grabbed my ass after I had clearly told him to stop it several times, asked me to give him a blow job, then gave me poor perfomance reviews because I complained, I would consider THAT sexual harassment. This reminds me of when I was a 23 year old factory worker. The factory regularly reached temperatures of over 100 during the summer, and we were all allowed to wear shorts. One old guy continually sexually harassed me, grabbed my breasts, etc. I tried to avoid him, and even yelled at him. I finally had enough and reported him. It turned out that he was doing the same to most of the other women, too, but they had been afraid to say anything. The men tried to say it was my fault, because I wore shorts. I pointed out that they all wore shorts, too. Their replies? "Your shorts are shorter than our shorts." and "Its different. Women are sexy in shorts, men aren't." What about the women he grabbed that WEREN'T wearing shorts? And what happens when this guy goes to the beach? Does he have a free license to feel up anyone wearing a bikini? You are confusing sexual attention with sexual harassment. Ogling at or trying to pick up sexy women is a different thing than deliberately humiliating, demeaning, and degrading women in order to establish male dominance or to chase women out of the workplace to establish male turf. Just like the difference between sex and rape. Attempting to get sex is a desire to get intimacy or just plain horniness, while rape is an attempt to control, humiliate and degrade, and to have power over women.
Furthermore, sexual harassers and rapist always try to blame the victim by saying she was asking for it–because she was out late, walking alone, drinking, or wore tight pants.
If a man told me I had a nice ass, I would not consider it sexual harassment. If my boss continually grabbed my ass after I had clearly told him to stop it several times, asked me to give him a blow job, then gave me poor perfomance reviews because I complained, I would consider THAT sexual harassment.
This reminds me of when I was a 23 year old factory worker. The factory regularly reached temperatures of over 100 during the summer, and we were all allowed to wear shorts. One old guy continually sexually harassed me, grabbed my breasts, etc. I tried to avoid him, and even yelled at him. I finally had enough and reported him. It turned out that he was doing the same to most of the other women, too, but they had been afraid to say anything.
The men tried to say it was my fault, because I wore shorts. I pointed out that they all wore shorts, too. Their replies? “Your shorts are shorter than our shorts.” and “Its different. Women are sexy in shorts, men aren’t.”
What about the women he grabbed that WEREN’T wearing shorts? And what happens when this guy goes to the beach? Does he have a free license to feel up anyone wearing a bikini?

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