Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Am feeling the guilt for telling and feel like I did something wrong

Molly, S.W.Florida

Well, It involves TWO men at my job, one my boss and the other his best freind who also works there. It started with both looking at porn on their computers, and when I would walk in their office or past their doors they would hurriedly shut laptop or turn computer screen away. This progressed to their not caring if I saw it anymore and making comments like “damn I want to see your t##S!” and “damn you just gave me wood” when I had to bend down to pick something up. That progressed to porn emails and trying to grab me, to taking my cell and taking a pic of his private parts. This has gone on over a year with something happening every day!

I finally told my other boss after the two pushed me to my breaking point. It is very unstable right now..one boss wants the guy gone and is pissed, and the other boss is hiding out. Other workers are pretty much believing that I hit on the coworker first and he did nothing wrong (that is what he is telling them).

Am close to nervous break-down and had a melt down in good bosses office today. Am feeling the guilt for telling and like I did something wrong..I work for very small company so there is no HR, just the two bosses…..word is they are very scared I am going to sue so they are just kissing my a## to keep me from doing so. Am having hard time dealing with this and not sure which way I will proceed. All depends on what bosses do next.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 at 4:15 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Effects of Sexual Harassment, Health Effects. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Am feeling the guilt for telling and feel like I did something wrong”

brenda Says:
September 25th, 2006 at 2:39 am
You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. I work with men and it has been my observation that when men bully in any way, it will not stop unless you make it stop. If that means a lawyer and a therapist, then do it. You have enough on your hands with a job and a life without bullies, sexual or otherwise making your life harder. If you do not follow through and make their worst fears come true the harrassment will get even worse once the harrassers see that you won’t stand up.

I filed a sexual harrassment complaint where I work and my company took it very seriously. It did not entail a lawsuit, thank goodness, but the personnel rep thanked me for complaining. Even if she had not thanked me I would not have felt guilty. I was molested as a child, and I learned that I was not the guilty one, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I felt sullied for many years but I was not sullied; the one who molested me was and he has to look at himself in the mirror every day and live with what he knows he is. In the end, so do your harrassers have to live with what they know they are even though they may never admit it even to themselves. I don’t know you but I feel sorry for your pain and I hope this helps you.
winnie Says:
December 15th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
be strong i know it is a scary thing to speak out. i had to do the same thing. my boss harassed and assulted me for 3 years. and i finally said enough is enough and went to the police. it is still in the investigation prosses. and i dont work there anymore. and it is a very scary thing. i m scared.. but we just have to say to our selfs that we did nothing wrong they did. and i will not let them get away with it. be strong and feel good about taking a stand…you are in my thoughts.