Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Mac

     The first time something happened was my freshman year of high school… it was near the end of the school year, and there was this one guy that I sort of knew. I didn’t consider him a friend seeing how we didn’t know each other that much, but we talked a bit during lunch and such. Well, one day, it was rather normal except for the fact that he sat down next to me, which is something he didn’t normally do. Normally he sat on the other side of the table. It didn’t matter to me, I just waved hi, and went back to eating lunch. About two seconds later after he sat down, it seems, I felt his hand on my knee, and said hand started going up, and it happened quickly. When I realized what was happening, it was maybe about mid thigh, and I jumped and yelped. I was thinking it was just something minor that I’d forget about later, but every time I saw him after that, I would feel uncomfortable. For the rest of the school year (about a week left at that point), I avoided him.

     I’m skipping ahead in this story to November. I was at a different school (the school in which that happened was a junior high, and I went to an actual high school after that school year) and he was also there as well, which really shocked me on the first day. My school is tiny-last year, there was only about 250 students.

     He ended up sitting behind me on the bus after school, much to my displeasure. Then, he tried tostart a conversation with me. First he asked me if I hated him. Recalling the situation with my leg, I answered “yes”. When he asked why, I didn’t answer him. Figuring he’d just stop talking, I started to let my mind wander when he asked something else. He said “Are you gay?”, and I was quite confused about that.I told him that I wasn’t (I’m really bisexual), and he smirked, sort of. At this point, I really didn’t want to talk to him, so I wanted to try to ignore him, but he quickly continued. He asked me if I masturbate. “What the-?! ****ing perv!” I was really angry at that point. After that, he didn’t say a word, but he didn’t switch seats. He just stayed there.

     The day that he was asking me those questions really doesn’t bother me that much anymore. It’s the situation with my leg that has bothered me. It’s been over a year, but I still flinch when someone accidentallybrushes against my leg, or moves in a manner that seems like they are going to touch it, when they really aren’t. I’ve noticed that during the entire school year, I showed symptoms of panics attacks and actual Panic Disorder, which I didn’t know about then. Yet, now, I’ve done my research, and it does seem like I have it. Whenever I’d have a panic attack, it would usually spawn from when I thought someone would grab my leg or something, or sometimes when I saw him. He gave me nightmares, which didn’t help much with the anxiety at all.

     This whole thing was, and kind of is, a struggle. I’d tell myself “why are you so nervous? People have gone through a lot worse, and you’re just acting like a baby. Big deal, get over it, etc.” I’ve tried to just get over it, but I can’t calm down. I’m still nervous about things, and I still have anger surrounding the whole issue.Luckily, I’ve been trying to pour this aggression into my artwork, or some other fashion that doesn’t involve hurting people.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 14th, 2006 at 12:23 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in Education, Effects of Sexual Harassment, Health Effects. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.