Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Jessica, Texas 

     He found me in a chat room I frequent to visit with friends.  He sent an IM to me one day, telling me he found me funny and wanted to get to know me.  I told him I had a boyfriend, and he said that was okay, we could be friends.  He seemed intelligent and kind, so I talked to him a little.  The next time I came into the chat room, he let me know he had googled my first name and profession (all the personal info I gave him), and knew all about me, where I worked, etc.  I was alarmed, but he made it sound innocent.  And he seemed nice.

     At first, he sent a few emails a day.  Then he started calling and sending gifts to my office (he had tracked down the address).  He was still being sweet and kind, so I continued to talk to him.  I was experiencing difficulties in my relationship with my boyfriend, and found his attention and kindness comforting at first.  Within a few days, he started talking about love and marriage.  I thought he was just infatuated or kidding and tried to discourage him.  I reminded him that I still had a boyfriend.  He badgered me until I agreed to meet him.  I thought this might dispel his growing fantasy.  This was a huge mistake.  It only fueled his obsession.

     The emails increased to 60-100 per day and frequently included poetry, lines from songs or movies, stories, recipes, web links, etc.  The packages came at least once a week and were things he had made – framed collages, poetry, compilation CDs with songs like “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me.”  If I didn’t answer an email right away, he became frantic and would start sending them every few minutes.  He said I was his soul mate, he was totally in love with me, and that he knew I really loved him, too.  I told him I didn’t.  Then he began to make demands…that I send him gifts, too, or that I say certain things, such as that I knew he was special.  His emails became increasingly bizarre and sexual.  He played cryptic games and sent riddles I was supposed to figure out.  It all made me feel quite creepy.

     Finally, I told him I was overwhelmed by his “friendship,” that I do not love him and never would.  I said I just wanted him to go away…not call, write, or send any more emails.  That is when his emails started to turn hostile.  He sent a mock newspaper story about my dead body being found in my apartment.  He sent a package with a letter saying I had no heart or soul, and the envelope had pictures on the outside and dirt in the bottom.  He hacked into my computer so he could read my emails and chat conversations.  He broke into my apartment and moved things around (like “Sleeping with the Enemy”).  I stopped responding to him at all, so he started sending emails and IMs to my friends and family, harassing them.  He has a genius IQ, is a security systems expert and engineer, and apparently has unlimited time in which to devote to stalking me.

     The packages he sends take many hours to assemble.  The police and security experts advise me to move.  I haven’t yet, but put in a high-tech security system and take safety precautions as best I can.  He knows I talked to the police about him being a stalker, but his emails continue.  I can no longer go to the chat room, because he looks for me there virtually 24 hours a day.  He continues to send creepy packages and harass my family and friends. 

     I have never been afraid of anything, but I live in fear now. I have not filed charges or gotten a protective order because my instincts tell me if I do, he will come after me.  I have consulted 7 stalking experts (psychologists, security, lawyer, etc.).  They all say he is completely obsessed and that the things he is saying to me mean I am in grave danger.  At first I was in denial, then terrified and afraid to leave my apartment, and then angry at how he was changing my life.  Now I am just taking it one day at a time, feeling better when I don’t hear from him for a few days, then shaken when I do.  I am fighting to hold onto my life, but it is hard.  I know I will have to file charges and move eventually, but continue to try to just live a facsimile of the life I love for as long as I can.  It is hard to believe all of this has happened in only two months.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 at 6:30 pm and is filed under Effects of Sexual Harassment, Stalking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.