Comments on: Quid pro quo harassment from boss: “I went through this ordeal for 2 yrs” http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/ Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:59:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.2 by: Carol Pierquet http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/#comment-2688 Tue, 04 Sep 2007 16:49:22 +0000 http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/#comment-2688 If possible, I would really like to know what the verdit was on the case for the woman who went through the two year ordeal. Thank You Carol Pierquet If possible, I would really like to know what the verdit was on the case for the woman who went through the two year ordeal.
Thank You
Carol Pierquet

]]> by: Kirstin http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/#comment-2185 Sun, 12 Aug 2007 19:27:47 +0000 http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/#comment-2185 I had some pretty bad experiences with a former boss of mine as well. Although it was not as serious as what you have experienced, it was still pretty bad. I don't want to say too much about the specifics of the whole thing, but basically I had just gotten out of college and this was my first "real" job even though it was a pretty small comapany. I reported directly to the owner, who was my supervisor. Things went OK for a while, but then they started to change. I noticed him staring at me a lot, and he also began making comments when we were alone about me, my body, and also about my sex life. Being so new and not wanting to start any trouble, I just played along with it a bit, and told him what he wanted to know. It didn't take long after that until he had me working after hours, just so we would be alone. Thats when the groping began. Of course I tried to persuade him that it was not a good idea and all, but to no avail. He just got more aggressive with me as time went on. Then, I got invited to accompany him on a 4 day trip out of state for business. It seemed like a big break for me, so I went with him. Big mistake. On the second night, we had a few drinks in the hotel bar, then I left to go to my room for the night. He followed me there, and wouldn't leave once he was inside with me. I refused him at first, and that was met with a very loud and clear "If you know what is good for you, then I would advise you to get undressed right this moment." It was clear to me that it was either have sex with him, or lose my job right then and there. I had sex with him. Anyway, long story short, this sort of thing continued for quite some time, a little over 2 years. There were motels, lots of late hours and weekends at work where the two of us would be alone, he even came over to my place a bunch of times (I lived alone at the time). Each time I tried to refuse, he would threaten me with my job, or say he wasn't going to pay me for that week, tell me that he would make my life miserable if I ever told anyone or tried to leave him, and more. I felt like I really had no choice at all. I felt blackmailed in a sense. There were even a few times that I refused his advances, and he simply forced himself on me. And with me being 5'1 and about 102 pounds, and him being a big man (tall, heavier, etc.), he didn't have much of a fight from me. Finally, after all this time and lots of promises being made to me, like him helping to further my career, and things like that, I came to work one day only to find out that the company was going broke, and was going to be closed down within a week. And he had a job already lined up out of state for a competitor. And me? I was out of a job that very instant. I was to pack my things and leave by noon. And I never got paid for the last two weeks I was there either. I've never told anyone about this before. I guess I felt that I had too much to lose by trying to expose him. So, I just let it go. It was not easy for a while, but I eventually found another job, but this time, my supervisor was a happily married woman, thankfully. And we get along great to this day, and I have recently been promoted as well. So, even though the first few years were rough on me, I guess it had a happy ending after all. I am quite happy with my current employer, and I plan to stay there for as long as I can. I'm also going back to school in the fall to work towards my masters degree so I can advance my career - 100% on my own, thank you. I don't need some dirty perverted person to help me - not in the least bit. And best of all, I have not had any experiences with harassment since my last job ended. Not even one bad comment, or a dirty joke. The people I work for are professionals, and it shows in the way that they carry themselves each and every day. It is a breath of fresh air, to be sure. Thats all. I had some pretty bad experiences with a former boss of mine as well. Although it was not as serious as what you have experienced, it was still pretty bad. I don’t want to say too much about the specifics of the whole thing, but basically I had just gotten out of college and this was my first “real” job even though it was a pretty small comapany. I reported directly to the owner, who was my supervisor. Things went OK for a while, but then they started to change. I noticed him staring at me a lot, and he also began making comments when we were alone about me, my body, and also about my sex life. Being so new and not wanting to start any trouble, I just played along with it a bit, and told him what he wanted to know. It didn’t take long after that until he had me working after hours, just so we would be alone. Thats when the groping began. Of course I tried to persuade him that it was not a good idea and all, but to no avail. He just got more aggressive with me as time went on. Then, I got invited to accompany him on a 4 day trip out of state for business. It seemed like a big break for me, so I went with him. Big mistake. On the second night, we had a few drinks in the hotel bar, then I left to go to my room for the night. He followed me there, and wouldn’t leave once he was inside with me. I refused him at first, and that was met with a very loud and clear “If you know what is good for you, then I would advise you to get undressed right this moment.” It was clear to me that it was either have sex with him, or lose my job right then and there. I had sex with him. Anyway, long story short, this sort of thing continued for quite some time, a little over 2 years. There were motels, lots of late hours and weekends at work where the two of us would be alone, he even came over to my place a bunch of times (I lived alone at the time). Each time I tried to refuse, he would threaten me with my job, or say he wasn’t going to pay me for that week, tell me that he would make my life miserable if I ever told anyone or tried to leave him, and more. I felt like I really had no choice at all. I felt blackmailed in a sense. There were even a few times that I refused his advances, and he simply forced himself on me. And with me being 5′1 and about 102 pounds, and him being a big man (tall, heavier, etc.), he didn’t have much of a fight from me. Finally, after all this time and lots of promises being made to me, like him helping to further my career, and things like that, I came to work one day only to find out that the company was going broke, and was going to be closed down within a week. And he had a job already lined up out of state for a competitor. And me? I was out of a job that very instant. I was to pack my things and leave by noon. And I never got paid for the last two weeks I was there either.
I’ve never told anyone about this before. I guess I felt that I had too much to lose by trying to expose him. So, I just let it go. It was not easy for a while, but I eventually found another job, but this time, my supervisor was a happily married woman, thankfully. And we get along great to this day, and I have recently been promoted as well. So, even though the first few years were rough on me, I guess it had a happy ending after all. I am quite happy with my current employer, and I plan to stay there for as long as I can. I’m also going back to school in the fall to work towards my masters degree so I can advance my career - 100% on my own, thank you. I don’t need some dirty perverted person to help me - not in the least bit. And best of all, I have not had any experiences with harassment since my last job ended. Not even one bad comment, or a dirty joke. The people I work for are professionals, and it shows in the way that they carry themselves each and every day. It is a breath of fresh air, to be sure.
Thats all.

]]> by: Ceara http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/#comment-34 Sun, 29 Oct 2006 20:43:51 +0000 http://sexualharassmentsupport.org/speakupse/2006/10/29/quid-pro-quo-harassment-from-boss-i-went-through-this-ordeal-for-2-yrs/#comment-34      This is so scary. Even if you gave into his pressures, it's still Quid Pro Quo sexual harassment--you were the subordinate. (Read about the case of Meritor Savings Bank vs. Vinson, which is similar.)  Since you were his assistant, his cooperating with you in doing your work would be critical in your being able to do your job effectively.  Sabotaging projects, witholding training and resources, and other forms of undermining work performance are all common forms of retaliation against a sexual harassment target who refuses to submit.        Another power these types of harassers have is a victim's sense of responsibility to take care of others first, like you were doing with your associates and as the bread winner of the house.  This can make it hard for victims to get away.          It's not uncommon for abusers to go so far as to take legal action when their targets try to leave. It's a sick way of keeping them in their lives.  Yours isn't the first story I've heard that ended like this, though your former boss is going to far greater extremes to keep you in his life than most.       You have all our best wishes as you face this creep in court.  Hang in there!       This is so scary. Even if you gave into his pressures, it’s still Quid Pro Quo sexual harassment–you were the subordinate. (Read about the case of Meritor Savings Bank vs. Vinson, which is similar.)  Since you were his assistant, his cooperating with you in doing your work would be critical in your being able to do your job effectively.  Sabotaging projects, witholding training and resources, and other forms of undermining work performance are all common forms of retaliation against a sexual harassment target who refuses to submit.  

     Another power these types of harassers have is a victim’s sense of responsibility to take care of others first, like you were doing with your associates and as the bread winner of the house.  This can make it hard for victims to get away.    

     It’s not uncommon for abusers to go so far as to take legal action when their targets try to leave. It’s a sick way of keeping them in their lives.  Yours isn’t the first story I’ve heard that ended like this, though your former boss is going to far greater extremes to keep you in his life than most. 

     You have all our best wishes as you face this creep in court.  Hang in there! 

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