Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

You know when your gut is telling you something is wrong

Raegan, Michigan

I was a freshman in college in my first semester and very concerned about my grades and my English class. I naturally excel in Math; however, English is a weak area for me. I decided to take my professor up on his available office hours to receive clarification regarding the current paper we were to be working on. When I went his office I explained what I understood to be the instructions and what I had developed in my paper so far. I had my note pad out ready to take notes regarding his advice and comments. Once he started to talk to me he put his hand on my leg. I tried to move it a little to let him know I did not prefer this physical contact. I asked if he had something that I could write on. He pulled out a tray that came from within his desk. This provided somewhat of a divider between us. Then he put his hand on my hand. I tried to focus on what he was saying but it was difficult since I felt so uncomfortable. After I left his office that day, I decided not to worry about it and focus on the paper.

A few days later I checked back with him regarding my progress and positioned myself further from him. When I got up to leave I did not even have my jacket on all the way when he gave me a full frontal hug. That time I knew I did not misunderstand anything and knew that was not appropriate behavior. I made an appointment with the Dean of the English Department and explained that it was an emergency. When I explained the matter I was not made to feel embarrassed or at fault which was a huge concern of mine, but rather the matter was immediately rectified by moving me to another English class. I feel that my university handled the situation very well and very quickly. Therefore, to this day I feel that incident has had little affect on me overall. However, I still remember how uncomfortable that professor’s actions it made me feel.

It is unfortunate that people in positions of authority take advantage of others for their own satisfaction. Never mind the well being of the person there are exploiting. I know a number of people are damaged for life regarding these types of situations that are not resolved quickly or in the right manner. I would suggest documenting everything and following the correct chain of command. You know when your gut is telling you something is wrong. Listen to it and act quickly. Don’t wait!!

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 25th, 2006 at 11:51 am and is filed under Sexual Harassment in Education, Formal Investigations and Litigation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “You know when your gut is telling you something is wrong”

joanie Says:
November 25th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
I’m glad that the university acted quickly on your behalf before the situation got out of control.

I recall having a biology professor do the same thing in 1981. I ended up dropping the class and was out the money, but fortunately it didn’t effect my grades because I dropped before deadlines.

Good for you on having the courage to come forward so quickly. Good luck in your studies and future endeavors. Hopefully you won’t ever have to go through anything like this again.
Melissa Says:
November 25th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
Well mine is kinda the same thing only i’m 14 and i’m in middle school. I have been sexually harrassed and assalted by a boy and i let it go on for over a year and then finally in between the second year i reported him. All my friends were friends with him and they all belived him and of corse her lied about ti. I feel like noone belives me and i still cry myself to sleep. Did I do something wrong? because i’m still getting crap about it from people. I did the right thing right? what he did to me was wrong right?
Ceara Says:
November 26th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
To Raegan, I’m so glad your school responded with such responsibility and promptness. This is not the usual case, and it shows that people are learning.

To Melissa, there is no “right thing to do” when it comes to sexual harassment. Doing what you NEED to do is the closest we can come. You were very brave to stand up for yourself, and should be supported for doing so. He could be abusing others, too, or in the future. So at the very least, the word is out about him.

It’s sad that sexual abuse targets are treated so badly by those who should be supporting and helping them. Even sadder is that this is the norm. People are starting to educate themselves now, but change comes slow.
joanie Says:
November 28th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Melissa you did the right thing and sometimes that is difficult. Peer pressure is very hard to stand up to, especially at your age where most of your socialization takes place at school and related activities.

You know in your heart that you did the right thing. If these people were your friends they would want what is best for you and have your interests at heart.

I implore you to talk to your parents about what is happening with you at school. If the situation is intolerable is transferring to another school an option? You need an environment that is comfortable so that you can learn………that is the most important thing at this time of your life.