Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Anna

     I decided to submit my story because I didn’t come across any stories about sexual harassment by a family member. The harassment I endured was carried out by my uncle, and occurred when I was between the ages of 12 and 14.

     The first time, I was at a family picnic. I was sitting outside alone, playing with my great aunt’s dog, when my uncle came outside. He stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything but just looking at me. Then he came up to me, smiled, and said, “I noticed your things are growing.” I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I smiled and faked a polite laugh. He walked away, seeming pleased with himself, and I kept trying to figure out what he meant. It dawned on me a few minutes later, and I was completely disgusted. I felt so dirty and ashamed, and the fact that he referred to my breasts as “things” made me feel even dirtier. I was only 12, and had just begun developing within the last year - the last thing I wanted was for someone, especially my uncle, to start treating me differently because of my hanging body.

     For the next few years, I began changing into an oversized, loose shirt whenever I knew he was going to be around. I didn’t want anyone to see even a hint that breasts were under my clothes.

     Two other incidents happened in the following 2 years. In both of these incidents, my uncle made a comment about me having “sexy legs.” Once was when I was alone. This happened when I was 13. I didn’t know what to say or do, so I smiled and politely laughed again. I just felt so helpless, and I didn’t know how to respond. The second time was when I was 14 and in the company of my mother and grandmother. He said again that I had sexy legs, but my mother and grandmother didn’t seem to hear him (or maybe chose not to hear him). I was so embarrassed that I quickly said “Thanks”…I just wanted him to be quiet, and for no one to hear what he said.

     The following year, he moved to the other side of the country, where he still lives today. He rarely comes back, so there have been no other incidents since then.

     It has been 10 years since the last time my uncle sexually harassed me, but it has had a long-lasting impact on me. I was around my uncle a lot as a kid, and I always felt like he was my buddy. I trusted him, and he violated that trust by humiliating me. I believe he targeted me because I was always a people pleaser, and was afraid I’d make him feel bad if I didn’t react positively to his comments. I also was an easy target because my parents were going through a very messy divorce during this time, and I was vulnerable. This is not to say that I believe the harassment was my fault, but rather that I wish I had said something. I didn’t tell anyone about it at the time, because I was so ashamed and afraid that other people would start treating me as a sexual object if they found out. I told my mother several years later, and my father doesn’t know anything about it.

     I still don’t really feel comfortable receiving sexual attention from anyone. The whole experience made me feel that the world is a very hostile place for a woman’s body, a belief I still carry.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 27th, 2006 at 1:26 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in Miscellaneous Settings, Effects of Sexual Harassment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.