Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Julie

     I’ve always worked in a male dominated industry, but never had any problems.  I always operated under the assumption that if I was a team player, did good work, and kept it professional, everyone else would, too.  For 20 years, that attitude worked.  For 13 years, I’ve been at the same job.

     About 5 years ago, I got assigned to a new group within my company.  There were 5 of us, I was the only woman, and we worked long hours, and we all got pretty close.  As our project grew, we added people and responsibilities changed.  Eventually, I was reporting directly to one of the original 5, I’ll call him “Jerry”.  “Jerry” is younger than me by about 3 years and married. 

     As soon as “Jerry” became a manager, I noticed a change in his behavior towards me and the other women in the group.  I thought it was all pretty harmless until one evening during an out of town visit to a customer, “Jerry” propositioned me.  The propositioning started on the way back to the hotel from dinner, and continued in the elevator and in the hallways of the hotel.  “Jerry” kept grabbing me forcing me into corners, and tried to force his way into my room.  He kept repeating “You want me, you know you want some of this”.  I managed to get into my room, alone, and lock the door, but he called my room several times that night, repeating his “offer.”

     The next day, I confronted him, and he claimed that I misunderstood his joke, and that he was drunk.  I told him it had better never happen again, and let it go at that. 
      A few months later, I overheard “Jerry” in exactly the same situation with another female coworker.  She refused my help in getting rid of him, then when I told her my story and offered to go with her to HR, she refused, saying that his behavior was “nothing”.  I heard tales from other coworkers about him doing similar things to other female coworkers, but was never able to get any of them to file a complaint.

     Finally, about 6 months ago, I had another incident with “Jerry”.  I was working late, and thought no one else was at work.  Turns out, “Jerry” was still at work.  When he walked down the hall past my office, he stepped in to chat.  He grabbed a large handful of my hair, jerked my head back to face his, got very close to me and said, in a suggestive tone, “I’m leaving now, darling, unless there is something you need from me.”  I was shocked, slapped his hand away and told him to keep his hands off of me.  He seemed surprised, but then laughed it off, stating that he’d never gotten that reaction from any of his “girls” before. 
     I discussed the situation with a close friend outside of work and my pastor, and was finally convinced to contact HR.  I filed a report with names and dates, and I assume that an investigation was done.  I suggested that “Jerry” receive some intensive one on one training in sexual harassment and sensitivity, along with a note in his file.  I strongly suggested that he no longer be allowed to supervise women.  “Jerry” still works with me, and I have no idea what, if any, punishment he received.  HR claims the results of the investigation are confidential.

     In the meantime, I have been ostracized by the group.  As a group, there were 10 of us that socialized during lunch and outside of work, family picnics and the like.  Within a week of my complaint, I ceased being invited to lunch.  Several members of the group have refused to even speak to me. I have been transferred into another group, where the male supervisor acts nervous to be around me.

     I can’t prove that confidentiality has been breached, but behavior sure indicates it.  Not sure if this could be called retaliation, but it sure feels bad.  I keep telling myself that I did the right thing and that people that treat me that way are not my friends.  But it still hurts.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 25th, 2007 at 2:01 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Retaliation, Backlash, and Victim-blaming, Formal Investigations and Litigation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.