Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Laura, New York

     About eleven years ago is when I started working at the company I am still employed by.  I had a supervisor who seemed like a nice single guy who was interested in me.  I liked him and told him so.  He would always ask me about my personal life and hang on every word I said like I am so important to him. 

     Then, he told me he had a girlfriend, but he wanted me on the side.  I said no, but he kept asking and sending me filthy pictures on email and filthy emails that he wrote. 

     After he wouldn’t leave alone and wouldn’t stop asking me for sexual favors, I went to our Human Resource Dept and complained.  I had the power to have him fired, but I felt guilty and didn’t have the heart because at this point, he had already married the girlfriend and had kids with her.  The only thing I let happen to him is be demoted.  Our boss actually thanked me for how I dealt with him. 

     He wasn’t supposed to talk about the incident here with anyone else, but he told all his buddies and I got the cold shoulder and snide comments from most everyone here. (I work with mostly men.)

     And the harassment didn’t stop.  I have tried to maintain professionalism, but whenever I am alone walking down the stairs at the end of the day, he will come up behind me and grab my butt, or do it in the kitchen where I’m getting coffee.  And he still has the nerve to keep asking me for sex and calls me from his work phone for phone sex (he has a headset and can go in the bathroom while talking to me).  Every time I tell him to leave me alone, he tries to keep getting my attention and gives me extra work to do and gives me an attitude.  It’s a constant roller coaster. 

     I am married now and he seems to try even harder.  He’s a thrill seeker.  He says it turns him on even more when he thinks he can’t have me at all.  I don’t understand this twisted thinking. 

     I can’t leave where I work.  I have too much debt and own a house.  I just know that every time I say leave me alone, I am not interested in you.  I feel like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders, I feel more confident and generally in a good mood. 

     I asked my priest what to do and he told me not to let this make me leave my job and to pray and stand steadfast in my decision in telling this guy to leave me alone.  Even if I have to keep telling him over and over.  This has caused me great stress though.  I am on edge all the time and feel mistrustful of all people, and I don’t want to talk to anyone.  I am impatient, and hyper most of the time.  But it all goes away when I tell this guy to leave me alone. 

     My plan is to get my bills paid up and find a new job.  I will do that in about two years.  But for now, I have to be strong.  I don’t want to complain officially again because it will do no good…especially for me.  Our boss has actually given this harasser a 10k raise a year to keep him here.  Our boss values this sicko despite the things that he has done.  And he actually doesn’t seem to value me as much.  That is upsetting and wrong.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 6th, 2007 at 11:54 am and is filed under Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Retaliation, Backlash, and Victim-blaming, Formal Investigations and Litigation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.