Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Kaitlin

     I am a freshman in college and I just recently had to deal with sexual harassment with one of my professors.  He told the class to make meetings with him before each project was due, just so that we could see if we were on the right track.  Well, each time my friend and I would go see him, he would greet us with hugs.  We didn’t think so much about that at first until later. 

     About half way through the semester, I went down to his office by myself to discuss my presentation.  I was somewhat dressed up that day because I had to give a speech in my previous class.  I walked in and he said “Wow…that outfit looks amazing on you” but it wasn’t said in a seductive way. However, while I was leaving, he said “So what are you going to wear for class tomorrow?  Are you going to look hot tomorrow?”  At the time, though, I did not think so much about it.

     With about 5 weeks of school left, I went down to his office to discuss my final presentation.  We started to talk about the project but then he changed the subject.  He asked me to go get coffee with him later.  I said that I was busy and that I would not have time.  That was a lie.  I simply did not want to go.  Then, he started asking me about my sexual preference because I had talked to one of his other classes about gays, lesbians, bisexuals in high schools and college.  The questions were pretty basic at first but then he started to ask more personal questions that made me feel uncomfortable.  Then I changed the subject to talking about the project again.  Then, he asked me to come over to his house for dinner because he missed cooking for more than one person.  See, he lives by himself while his wife and baby daughter are somewhere else.  So, I said no because I was not about to go over to his house by myself.  My stomach twisted and got into knots when he said the phrase “dinner at my place”. 

     My gut instinct told me that I needed to get out of his office.  I stood up and said something about how I had essays to work on, even though I really didn’t.  My mind was spinning and I could not think straight.  He then said “oh, alright.  Well come here” and I figured that it would be the usual goodbye hug (which, of course, shouldn’t be usual).  However, he then scooped me up with an arm under my knees and one supporting my back and said “Wow.  You’re really light… I wish I could pick you up all the time” Even though I was absolutely shocked that I was in the air, I still managed to look up at him and he was looking straight down my shirt.  So, I said “okay seriously, put me down.  Now!”.  After he set me down, I walked very slowly out of his office but then I sprinted back to my room because I was shocked!

     I didn’t know what to do or who to tell.  Eventually, I went to my academic advisor and I told him about the situation.  He was very upset that this had happened to me and he called a person in the VPAA’s office.  I had to talk to a number of people in the school in order to officially file a complaint.  I eventually made it to the Vice President for Academic Affairs.  He told me that he was going to talk to my professor to get his side of the story which was only fair.  My professor ended up denying everything that he had done to me.  Everything.  Naturally, I was very upset at this.  In fact, I have never thought so angrily in my life!  After many meetings, the vice president arranged it so that I would never have to go back to that class ever again while still being able to pass the class.  I saw my professor in one of the halls and he walked up to me and said “Kaitlin, I do hope that we can still be friends”.  He was there to be my professor…Not my buddy.

     I wish that I could tell him the affect that this has had on me; physically, mentally, and even academically.  My grades slipped and since this happened at the end of the year, I barely had any time to pick up my grades.  Because of this, I had to attempt to concentrate on my finals. Even now, it is still hard to focus on things just because images come to my mind of what happened and of what could have happened.

     Now, I’m taking precautions each time I talk to a professor.  Even though I had a bad encounter with one professor, I still feel as though I can trust the others.  Why should I let him still have that control over me?  I should not let him and that situation control who I trust and cant trust. In fact, my academic advisor/sociology professor is now the person that I trust the most on my campus and I’m so glad that I have such a great support system at my college that is there for me when I need it the most.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 20th, 2007 at 11:39 am and is filed under Sexual Harassment in Education, Effects of Sexual Harassment, Formal Investigations and Litigation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.