Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Now I am nervous to be at work by myself

Just A Little Concerned

I work the front desk of a full service salon in a busy area, and are located next door to a bar.

A few weeks ago I noticed two older men walking by the salon. When the men saw me they began waving and winking at me. At first I thought they were waving to someone they knew but I quickly found out they were trying to get my attention. I waved back trying to be nice.

About an hour later, they returned from the bar only this time more aggressive than the first. They were whistling and hooting at me. I just ignored them.

About two weeks later, they came back and this time they came into the salon. I was on the phone with a customer when they came in talking about how pretty I was, and how they just wanted to say “hello.” I didn’t respond to them. They left and an hour later, they returned…drunk. They began walking toward me, asking me stupid questions about what exactly a “full service” salon meant.

I knew what they were suggesting, and I was freaked out. They other stylist was in the back room, but once she came out and the men realized I wasn’t alone, they left.

Now, I am nervous to be at work by myself, and especially at night. I don’t want to overreact in this current situation. However, I’ve been stalked before, and the mere fact that this has happened twice and each time these men advance a little closer each time scares me.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 6th, 2007 at 5:09 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Effects of Sexual Harassment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Now I am nervous to be at work by myself”

Lisa Says:
August 26th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
If your boss doesn’t take you off the shifts that end at dark, have different freinds come in as much as they can… guys, girls…a mixed group is best. Of course, they’re not there to mock these dorks from the bar, they’re there to ward them off from anything more offensive than what’s already happened. A docile German Shepard works, too! And post a sign reserving your right to refuse service to ANYONE! If all else fails, the cops are just a phone call away. See if you can find some self-defense classes, too!
susan matthews Says:
September 8th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Dearest Lisa, I understand your situation, and I am desperate and afraid of loosing my job. I have an employee of the state for 16 years. I have worked with many men in my career, and I have always been able to deter sexual advances from them.I Recently switched from a job that was under the “nursing umbrella” to an administrative job in hopes of working my way into a promotion.
My new boss started on the same day as I did, and almost immediately began making remarks. Then came the rubbing on the back, then the neck massages. All the while, telling me that I was more than a “secretary”, but that I was definately an asset to the company and definately a supervisor in progress. He became comfortable doing this to me and other co workers right away. We are now into our third month together, and the advances are so bad that I recorded and kept a log of everything that I could remember that he has done to me. He has offered to “slap me on the a**, at which time I told him if he did, he would find his own a** in the floor where I had slapped him back.His response was that it would be worth it. He has walked up behind me at my desk, ran his fingers up the back of my neck and into my hair, and tugged on my hair, which was clearly a show of sexual activity. I shoved his hand out off of me. He has told me that he could “teach” me some things. I responded that I was quite happy with the education I already had. I have made it clear to this man so many times that I was happily married and that my family was everything to me, hoping that he would get the message and leave me alone. It finally got to the point that when I got ready for work each day, I purposley done things to make myself less attractive and noticeable. Nothing has worked.
Finally, I turned all of my documentation into a higher authority, and I must say that in doing so, I covered every base to protect myself from retaliation. However, when I gave this information to his boss, he was very supportive at first. he called 2 other women in and interviewed them, which had similiar experiences as mine.
I will also add that in my statement, that I was not willing to change my office from where he was, nor was I willing to let this activity continue. I made it clear in a way that I felt as if this would cause me great greif,snd hurt my evaluations as well as my promotional opportunities. I am now so glad that I put everything into writing. Because of putting it all in writing, it holds many people in higher positions than mine very accountable, and protects me from any type of retaliation or being passed over for promotions.
However, I am now under investigation as well as my boss, and have been informed that I cannnot discuss this with anyone or I would face diciplinary action.How can that be? I will respect that for now, but as I have explained to the higher powers that I refuse to be treated in this manner, and that no one would bully me and threaten me. I have made myself very clear that I am fed up. I know that if I was not the strong one at work, that the other girls were terrified, and would never say anything. Someone had t do something.
In the process of this, I have secretly investigated this man from his previous jobs, and he done the same things to the women in the other Regions he has been employeed. No one ever reported him. He is a man of excessive power, and used it to his advantage. I discovered that some of the women did have sex with him to keep thier jobs, or to make their jobs manageable, but were not willing to report it.
This is so sad. I am very lucky to have a supportive husband, and a substantial income without having to rely on my job for my livelyhood.
I would like to give the message to other women… DO NOT stand for this activity to anyone, and DO not be afraid. Be strong for yourself and your so-workers. It took me 2 months to get enough, and some women tolerate it forever. you have rights, and you DO NOT have to take this. Make SURE you document properly and cover all of the bases, for this is your field of protection. KNOW that other women will forward if you take the first step. KNOW that you will get support from your female co-workers, and that the female staff will become stronger. In the event of retaliation for filing sexual harrassment, your company cann be sued, and they do not want that.Once you come forward, and show that you are strong and upset, you will be taken seriously. If nothing is done, get statements from your coworkers, and contact an attorney. DO NOT be bullied by these jerks.
Thanks for allowing me to offer this information!! I hope that people will find this to be true and helpful.

SM
RZ: Lost Love Says:
September 26th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
You should try to get someone to work late with you, or you could try to get different hours. At least, that’s what i would do.
sonu Says:
February 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Call 911 immediately if the same men trouble you. Try to lock the front door if it is possible. Tell your coworkers and ask them to keep an eye. So, they can come for your rescue