Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

I’m scared this will all turn into a three-ring circus

Miranda

I had a relationship with a co-worker (we’ll call him “David”) that lasted a few months until I ended it.

David was not very cooperative when I ended the relationship, and continually made it clear that he still wanted us to be together. He became extremely jealous and misinterpreted innocent friendships that I had with other guys at work. Also, David’s comments to me were often sexual in nature.

I eventually asked him not to contact me unless he needed to speak with me about work-related matters. However, David kept on calling my cell phone and sending me messages even though I asked him to stop.

I thought I could handle the situation myself, but I was wrong; even though I followed all the “right” steps, my way wasn’t working.

David became increasingly hostile in the workplace (only when no one was around to witness it, of course) because there were no repercussions for his actions other than me saying “stop.”

I finally had to go to my supervisor and report the whole thing, which I found shameful and embarrassing. I have given several statements to Human Resources and am terrified of what might happen next.

If David loses his job, will he come after me?

I don’t know if I can go through telling my story to one more person at this point because it’s so humiliating. I’m the victim here, so why am I being grilled?? I feel like no one will believe me because I had a consensual relationship with David previously. I feel like people will think that I “asked for it.” I just want to be able to go to work in a professional environment. As it is now, I can’t even concentrate because I’m so upset and anxious from David’s intimidating behavior and the situation as a whole.

Part of me wonders if I’m to blame for all this.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 15th, 2007 at 5:57 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Effects of Sexual Harassment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “I’m scared this will all turn into a three-ring circus”

mollie Says:
February 12th, 2008 at 4:27 am
I am a victim of some very subtle harassment myself.
I have also had a slight office relationship with a man who for several months would just come put his hand on my shoulder when he would come talk. It wasn’t offensive and I liked it. He’s been very careful not to be harassing me.
But when I’ve put the brakes on, now he barely talks to me, never comes over to say hi, etc.
So it is hurtful. I don’t even think I really have any case for harassment since there is no real “proof” of anything.
My suggestion (and you would have to check with someone) is to document everything with dates and times and details so you don’t forget.
I am curious about this kind of harassment where there is a consensual relationship involved like you describe. It is still harassment all the same and I applaud you for speaking up.