Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

J, New York   

     I was fourteen and freshman in high school. A guy I liked–a junior–had a Halloween-based theme job, and he asked me to come visit him there.  So, me and all of my friends (a bunch of girls and a couple boys) went there one night. 

     He found us, and while everyone went on without me, he held me behind.   He started rubbing my arms and asked me if he could take me home.   He whispered it in my ear and asked if he could, “eat me,” and said that his girlfriend would never have to know.  He kept saying please and repeated, “I won’t hurt you, I promise, just let me take you home tonight.” 

     When i asked him to let go, he wouldn’t.  He pushed me farther and farther off of the path.  He was much stronger and much taller than I was. I became afraid and just stood there; I couldn’t fight him off and he continued pushing and whispering to me

     Luckily, his friend came and pulled him off.  But he told me he would see me again. 

     At first, I said nothing to my friends.  But later when I did open up about it to my best friend, she said it was “part of his job to scare me,” and that I was “over-reacting.”

     I didn’t really think it was anything to worry about or even anything to believe was wrong.  I tried to laugh it off, and thought it was something guys just did.  But it got progressively worse and I got more and more disgusted.

     He would take penis shaped objects and do terrible gestures to me, while winking.  He would use his musical instruments to imply he was well equipped down below.  I caught him videotaping me when we were on a bus for a school trip, and he called me at two in the morning to tell me how much he missed my face and wanted to see me.

     I kept all of this from my friends, and joked about it with him because I didn’t know what else to do. 

     He was known for a bad temper.  One time we were joking, and he called me a bitch, so I playfully punched him.   So, he then took my wrists and threw me onto the ground.

     I feel like I am over-exaggerating, and maybe I was a VERY foolish girl to think that this would stop and was just something boys did.  Frankly, I didn’t have much experience with boys then. 

     I finally told my friends all the gory details when I found out he was dating a girl four years young than him, and he’s in college. They said what he did was wrong, and it’s about time I said something.

     But I feel like he took something from me. I get jumpy when guys get too close to me, and especially when they whisper in my ears/grab me from behind. I get scared when boys get too touchy-feely or do gestures as a joke.  If anyone, especially a man, comes up behind me just to talk without me realizing they’re there, I’ll jump ten feet in the air.

     Guys try to ask why I have so much anxiety, but I don’t want to tell them.  I told one guy friend and he told me I should have reported it.  But if there was no physical evidence and a charming young man doing the damage, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere.  Plus, with the fact of me having a crush on him beforehand, and going to his job willingly, it wouldn’t have made me look any better.  I was scared.  I was in denial.  I just started opening up about it.  

   Now he tells everyone he hates me because I “made” up these stories about him, and that I was a whore to begin with.

     I just hope more girls don’t go through this again

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 26th, 2008 at 2:35 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in Education, Effects of Sexual Harassment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.