Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Kellie, Florida

     I am a female Emergency Department physician.  I became friends with a coworker, a female Nurse Practitioner employed by the same medical staffing service for which I work. 

     At first, it seemed we had a great deal in common: both had 3 kids, struggled with long hours, stressful work, childcare, etc. much the same.  However, it soon became clear to me that she was in an abusive marriage.  Violence, alcoholism, etc. were the norm at her house.  At first, I tried my best to help her get out of the situation, trying to enlist the help of other coworkers, etc., offering my support to encourage her, and even let her stay at my home for a time while my husband was away. 

     However, it then also became very clear that she had no intentions of ever doing anything to resolve her home situation, and was becoming entirely too reliant on, and attached to me.  I pulled away from this friendship.  I stopped returning calls, messages, etc.  I made myself unavailable. 

     She then became insistent.  Messages not returned were met with suicidal rants, and desperate attempts to get my attention.  She began giving me excessive, inappropriate gifts and constant notes. 

     I told her how much this made me uncomfortable and caused me stress and that I could not accept gifts from her. 

     She then became very mean.  She began insulting me constantly at work and in constant recurrent text messages and emails.  She obtained email passwords and got into my email, then angrily confronted me about private matters she found in my email relating to my life outside of work and my husband and our travel plans.  She began showing up at work all hours usually night shifts at 2-4 am in the morning when I was working and she was not scheduled to work “just to hang out”.  

     This made me excessively uncomfortable.  I became more and more stressed by this stalking behaviour of hers.  I became depressed to the point I did not want to use my cell phone, email, go out of the house, or to work. 

     I finally reported this to my supervisor (who said she “didn’t want to hear it”) then to the next level in the chain of command.  I was told there would be an investigation. 

     Next, I was made to undergo a “psychological evaluation” by the company in which I was told I would not be allowed to return to work until I signed complete releases for all my information there.  This psychologist was condescending and accusatory to me.  He said, “If you were being stalked, then why didn’t you report it to the police?”, and “Your judgment is questionable if you would have ever become involved in such a destructive friendship”.  Then he admonished me that if I had any further contact with her (which I had no intention of anyway)that I would lose my job.  

     My hours were reduced because I was no longer to be scheduled at the same facility as her.  I was made to go to another facility to work many shifts, one where I preferred not to work.  She works many more hours and at more facilities than me.  

     She continues to send me text messages and emails, that say things like I am “tormenting her.”  I continue to ignore them.  I am hoping that she will eventually stop and I take many extra safety precautions if her behaviour escalates (she recently overdosed and was taken to our hospital but one of the other supervising physicians rescinded the order to take her for psych eval).  I am looking for a position in another state.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 1:17 pm and is filed under Retaliation, Backlash, and Victim-blaming, Stalking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.