Sexual Harassment Stories and Experiences

Kelly, Wisconsin   

     I had just started working at a bar about a month before.

     I had only worked two shifts and therefore I had only met the manager and two of the other bartenders.  There was a staff meeting one Saturday afternoon to introduce all three of the new employees.  This was the first time that I had met the owner and the other five bartenders.

     After the meeting some of the staff stayed at the bar to drink.  I left to get dinner and agreed to come back later that evening.  When I got back to the bar the people who had originally stayed were extremely intoxicated; including the owner and the manager.  The owner came over to me and began bumping into me almost knocking me over.  At first I thought that he was just really drunk and then he slipped his finger down the back of my pants.  Again, I thought that it was an accident due to his drunkenness.  A short time later a girl came into the bar selling roses and he purchased the entire bucket and gave it to me.  I told him “No thank you.” and stated that I was engaged.  He then continued to bump into me and proceeded to put his whole hand down the back of my pants.

     I pulled away and told asked the bartender if he was always like this.  The bartender knew that I was uncomfortable so he pulled the owner aside and told him not to touch me anymore.  The owner walked away for about 15 mins. and then came back, bumped into me repeatedly and then grabbed my breasts through my shirt.  I told him to stop and pushed him away again.  He then put his hand down the back of my pants again and attempted to put his hand up my shirt.  I told him to stop again and pushed him away.  The bartender again told him not to touch me.  I went to talk to the manager and told her what was happening and that I was uncomfortable.  She stated that he had never done anything like that to her and that I should ignore it because he was drunk.  I told the bartender what was the manager said and he stated that I should ask for a big raise.  I returned to my seat and he did all the same things again.  

     This time the bartender on duty put him in a cab and sent him home.   Later that evening when I came home I told my fiance what happened and broke down and cried.  I didn’t realize how bad it really made me feel until I talked to someone.  My fiance and I talked it over and agreed that I would say something the next time I worked.

     A week later, on a Monday evening, I came into work my shift and the owner was there.  I talked to him about what he did and he just said “I get drunk, get used to it.”  I mentioned it to the manager again and she rolled her eyes.

     The whole night the owner just sat there and stared at me and I felt extremely uncomfortable.  So uncomfortable it made it difficult to do my job.  I just tried to ignore him. 

      Two days later, six hours before my scheduled shift the manager called to tell me that I was no longer needed there.  When I asked why, she stated that on Monday, I had a negative attitude.  She also stated that I was a great worker and she would be happy to give me a positive recommendation, but I was fired. 

      I have worked in many bars and have seen harmless flirtation from employees and customers, but I have never been so humiliated in my life. I know that most people don’t believe that the service industry is a profession, but bartenders and servers work hard and do not deserve to be treated like that, just because they work in an establishment that serves alcohol.  Intoxication is not an excuse to do that to anyone.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 24th, 2008 at 12:30 pm and is filed under Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, Retaliation, Backlash, and Victim-blaming. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.