She appears to thrive on the attention she gets
Honey, Texas
My husband and I are being stalked and harassed by his ex-wife and have been for more than 5 years now. The stalking began when we were dating.
My first encounter with this individual was when she chased me across the gym parking lot in her car and when I jumped into my vehicle for safety, she then rammed the car with me inside.
We have endured attempts at character assassinations with family and friends. Our vehicles have been damaged while parked. We have a huge box of cards, letters, emails, packages, recorded phone calls, that have been delivered over the years. She writes us emails to let us know that she knows what we are doing. We are also victims of many phone call “hang ups”, especially if I answer the phone.
We have repeatedly requested that the communication stop without any success.
She has used my husband’s SSN and date of birth (and his mother’s) to gain access to our credit files; medical files and banking info. We have been forced to put extra security on all our personal information. Now our identity has been stolen and our credit info is in the hands of thieves.
The situation is complicated because they share an adult daughter together and she has obtained our address, email and phone numbers, we believe from their daughter.
At one point we even attempted to appeal to her for peace for the sake of their daughter but realize now this communication was a mistake. It seems ANY feedback is rewarding to her. She appears to thrive on the attention she gets. If we make our objections known and gets a lot of mileage as “the victim.”
In addition, this woman has attached herself to my husband’s elderly aunt and uses her to keep track of us.
We are going to seek legal assistance but have decided to wait once again until January as we believe that she is desperately seeking drama for the holidays and we are determined not to give her any. Looking back, we realize that we ought to have taken legal action a long time ago. It has been hard for us to come to this decision because we love our daughter and did not want to cause her mother any harm. Thankfully we have kept most of our evidence over the years.
I have lived in fear of this woman because I firmly believe she is mentally ill and capable of harming one or both of us if provoked. I am going public with my story in the hopes that it might benefit someone else who is a victim of a relentless stalker
Since I last wrote, we have discovered that my husband’s aunt (who is in her 90’s) has not altered her will and has left her entire estate to my husband and his ex wife. Our lawyer has advised us that upon my husband’s aunt’s death, we will be forced into litigation once again with the very woman who has been stalking and harassing us over the last 5 years. We have no objections to the ex receiving money or property from the aunt however we are hoping the aunt will rewrite the will so that it clearly defines exactly what she wants to leave the ex. The way it stands we will have to account for every penny, every stick of furniture, and the spoons in the drawer. What a freakin nightmare!! This woman would rather have us in litigation for the next 20 years than settle anything in a reasonable manner. The nightmare has just added another chapter. We are both thinking about running away and leaving the whole mess behind!!
Honey, I just say move away from it all. And if you must cut ties with the other family members for a while, then you might just have to do that, especially if your step daughter and aunt are giving the ex any information. If I were you I would move to another state but I know you guys have jobs and can’t just move away. But really think about it. Hope all will soon be well, let me know whats going on.
I feel sorry for your current situation, like yourself my fiancee’s ex girlfriend is stalking him. When she got a new boyfriend we didn’t hear from her for over a year but now they have broken up she’s back. She calls, texts, turns up at his work, tries to add him on msn messenger, hacked into his emails and used his email address to apply for things in her name! She tries to contact his friends and work colleagues – only really to ask about my fiancee. He has managed to block her calls and texts and barred her from entering his work premises but she is still persistent. we have gone to the police but they cannot do anything because her actions are not threatening or violent, i am just worried that this is still going to be happening years from now, after we get married etc. do you have any advice at all on how best to deal with this? because im not coping very well, im loosing sleep, having nightmares, paranoid that she is following us or going to show up at work or the house! she has started trying to use emotional blackmail against him by hurting herself then calling him for help. She took lots of pills and was in hospital and when my fiancee wouldnt reply to her she got the nurse to phone on her behalf! Any normal person would phone thier family or actual friends, she has psychological problems – i know that she self-harms and has tried to commit suicide on several attempts (but for the attention, not anything that could actually kill her!)she treated my fiancee very badly when they were going out and wouldnt let him talk to any other females out of jealousy/paranoia etc and they argued all the time so he broke up with her. I think she needs professional help and im scared incase she harms my fiancee or starts focusing on me – as i know she blames me for my fiancee not wanting anything to do with her! People should not be able to make others suffer in this way and get away with it, the law should be changed to protect people before something bad happens to them – not after!
I agree with kylie that the law should be changed to protect people before something bad happens to them and not after it happens. This is why I do not care too much for law enforcement. They are nothing to me. Nothing but a waste of time they have been in all my life. They never helped me in any way.
But about honey’s post. I relate to the way your feeling. I know what it feels like to be harassed by both men and women. My last harasser was a woman and I’m a woman. Anyways, nobody ever helped me, I helped myself like always. But your post was a help. It helps me to know that I’m not alone.
I don’t know what your aunt is worth financially. But ask yourself this. Is 50% of this really worth the time, trouble, and legal fees? Leave it to The Other. She will have less victim ammunition, and you will have greater peace of mind.
Does your husbacnd have communication
with the adult daughter? How does she feel about this and is he a part of her life?