He broke down sobbing
Kristine
At the beginning of this school year, I noticed an extreme change in my 12 yr old son’s attitude towards anyone in authority, including me.
Then I saw his grades in two classes quickly fall to the point of F’s. He started refusing to do homework, stopped studying for tests. For the first time in his life, he wanted to stay home from school. He started getting detention after detention. He got into a fight and broke his hand in the process etc…
Finally, I got him to open up and tell me everything. He told me that a teacher he has for two subjects a day was saying things to him in front of his classmates and friends. She would say things like “Are you looking for a boyfriend?” or “Trying to find a boyfriend?” Then she told him “Only men in prison dressed like you, when they want to show all the other prisoners they were available for sex.”
He also told me he felt that she would blame him for anything and everything that doesn’t go her way in the classroom. How even if her back would be turned and another boy would whisper or talk, she would immediately scream at my son, yell his name, and send him to the hall for the rest of the school period. She would yell “Shut-Up!” and “Get out of my Classroom!” on a weekly basis.
He told me it started the beginning of the school year, and had been going on for months.
I just couldn’t believe a teacher would say these things to a 12 year old boy. One day, he broke down sobbing “Why does my teacher think I’m gay?”
I’ve talked with the teacher. She admitted it and very casually said she has said it to other students in the past, due to what she considers inappropriate clothing attire. She admitted this in front of another teacher, my family, and the school principal. Then she turned her head back and forth and sarcastically said “Sorry.”
That was it.
The school principal then said since the teacher apologized “Lets end this meeting on a good note.” Then proceeded to tell me that my son could come to her with his problems – but that she would have to report any “illegal activities to the proper authorities.”
WHAT??!!
Then the following week, the school counselor jumped on this bandwagon campaign against my son and changed all of his classes, teliing him he could “never get along with any teacher because they all knew he was bad.” He explained, “Well look at the way you dress. No wonder adults in this school make fun of you.”
Now, my son does not wear anything inappropriate to school. What he was wearing when all this started was a regular fitting pair of jeans – from Areopostal–Nikes, an American Eagle t-shirt. What happened is after sitting during a class period and then standing up, the top part of his boxer shorts were showing. That’s it! That is what has caused all of this!
As a mother, I am very angry with this teacher, with the counselor, with the principal and the school! I want to shout out this abuse and bullying from the mountain tops, but am afraid that complaining too much will hurt his future in this school system. I am trying to write a proper letter to the school superintendent, but have no idea how to write it.
omg that stupid teacher …im sorry 4 that kid …i just hope they got fired
That’s terrible! Your son should not have to put up with that awful treatment. If I were you, I would transfer him to a different school immediately. The entire staff there sound like complete idiots, and even if your son does turn out to be gay, that does not give them any kind of license to treat him that way.
Transfer him to a private school or different public school in the area, or even move if you have to. Being treated and talked to like that when he’s young will leave him scarred for life if nothing is done.
I agree with Lila completely. Whilst there is no reason why you should have to send your son to another school – he has every right to stay where he is – it will be very difficult to change the attitudes of what sounds like a number of people. You need to ensure that your son does not have to grow up under such cavemanlike scrutiny.
legally, your child should/can not be discriminated against due to sexual preferences. So by saying aloud her thoughts that your son was gay, she can be taken to court. Also, the people of the school are biased against your son because they have been reviewing his bad behaviour for months, the time in which he has been abused. However, they should realize that the teacher has committed signifigant emotional and mental damage to your son. Taking action against your son will not ruin his academic career, it will send a statement that teachers have an impact on children, and they have all the more responsibility to act accordingly. If you really feel that the school will make sure your son suffers in the future, then transfer him to another school. However, I would not suggest running away from the problem before all avenues have been executed. I would also recommend giving your son some counseling.
This teacher is so stupid…I’m 12 years old and i have had teachers like that.Tell your son he should never be ashamed and should stand up to that teacher.Tell her how dumb shes being.Also tell him to be open because you will never know what will happened.
I would get a lawyer. I am fiercely protective to all my children, expecially their emotional wellbeing. Talk to other parents see if any other children have received similar teatment. Personally I would problably confront everyone who is letting this slide; the teacher, the counsellor, and the principle in front of other parents, say like at the PTA. Ask them what they are going to do about abuse and harassment in the classroom. This lets the parents know there is a situation and lets the students know that they are not alone and someone is willing to fight for them. Your son sounds like a sensitive person, mine is the same, explain to him that these ‘people’ are wrong and that you want to fight for him and others that this could happen to. I would also think about getting a lawyer and sueing these so called educators. Int he end school is suppose to be a safe and stress free environment for children to learn, not for educators to try and demean a child.
[...] We even published a story about an elementary school teacher who was doing this to her students. (See story) The label can get placed on them for a number of reasons, usually because something about them [...]
Hi
While i can understand your offense… and how infuriating this must be…
It’s also a chacne for yor son to learn.
I think if we as parents rescue our children too quickly – they don’t learn how to work thru things in life effectively.
Our job is to get them to protest in the right way to the right reasons, to get a result that serves more people.
I wonder how you can get him to do this? To take it on as a cause to make a difference.
Thanks!
And love to you
HHG: how is her son supposed to do anything about the issue? He’s 12! Obviously no one even took his mother seriously so what makes you think a 12 year old boy can make a difference? A 12 year old has no power in a school hence the reason this is sexual harassment and is illegal. On top of that, men are supposed to let stuff just slide off their shoulders, so taking on this issue himself would probably make matters worse. Since this this does involve him being called “gay”, I can’t imagine he would be percieved as a straight guy (or “normal” for that matter) by his classmaters if he let it show that this bothers him.