My pastor asked me if I was shaved.
Vanessa
A minister of my church would tell me constantly that God was giving him dreams that we were having sex. He even asked me if I was shaved.
Another pastor at the church told me to masturbate and told the other men of the church. He even went as far to joke to the other men that I should purchase a dildo! It seems like he is always watching me and trying to approach me for conversation. One time he grabbed me and kissed me on the cheek while greeting me. Yuck!!!! I can’t stand being around him.
How can he preach Jesus and, at the same time, be constantly preying on women?
People told me I should forgive and move on. Should I find another church? What is going on here???
Dear Vanessa,
Personally, I feel you should stay where you are. No need to find another church. You have not done anything wrong. You should not be the one being punished or in hiding. I feel you should relate all unfortunate accounts to the “Deacon Board” or “Church Committee.” Also, do a “certified letter” to the Church Committee listing all unfortunate accounts, all emotional injuries that Jerk has caused, and ask the church to give you a satisfied conclusion. Make sure you save a copy of the letter for your records along with the certified post office receipt. You are certifying to signal to the church that you are SERIOUS about your complaints. That “Jerk” will probably get “fired” for sexually harassing you. You have been sexually harassed, because he has made you feel “uncomfortable.” Remember, you are at no fault. IT IS NOT YOU FAULT.
Besh Wishes!
Dear Vanessa,
I was completely hurt reading your story. I am a deacon in my church. The bible talks about the consequesences for being an officer of the church ( pator, deacon, elder) and fleecing the flock.
This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them.
11“‘For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. -Ezekiel 34
It is not a game, and God is not playing what they did was unacceptable. My advice to you is to pray for that pastor and those who shared in that incident, that God will have mercy on them. As for you pray to God to have the ability to stand. For his word also says in ALL times of trouble HE is your strength and refuge Psalm 91. Be encouraged my sister in the Power of the Lord and HIS might.
Dear Vanessa,
Besides preaching about the bible, the pastor’s other primary job is to be a “Superhero” to the church and its community. Pastors are known to visit sick patients at the hospitals, passing out meals to the poor, and counsel troubled individuals and families. All in all, pastors stand for kindness and goodness. What does this pastor stand for? Would you trust your kids alone with this pastor? I am deeply sorry for what you are going through thanks to this “jerk” and his buddies. Praying for him and his buddies is a necessary task on your agenda, but exposing these creeps to protect innocent kids and other female individuals at your church is also an important duty.
Lots of people will ask you to forgive and pray for them, but please let me remind you that sexual harassment victims usually suffer psychological trauma. Asking the church committee for a satisfied conclusion may alleviate emotional injuries you are facing caused by those idiots. This is not about revenging: It is about helping yourself and to protect other innocent individuals from these “jerks.”
Best wishes!
Vannessa,
Listen, You dont have to move on though i feel you should.You need to remember that absolutly none of this is your fault. But, if you dont either move to another church or press charges you could be in danger. If you dont do something this could keep escalating until rape. Im sorry to be so point blank.I was sexually harrased by a fellow student and then molested by a teacher. Get help! Thats what is helping me through it.
Vanessa,
It isnt your fault at all because you didnt do anything wrong. Why are you still at that church? I am not suggesting that you run or hide, but spiritually. You cant tell me that you are fed spiritually at a church that practice such horrible things and you are aware that it goes on. You know what the bible says… It doesnt condome masturbation, sexual relations with someone you arent married with. What they are preaching and teaching isnt right, so it doesnt surprise me that the pastor is a horrible man. I think that you need to take yourself out of the situation and God will allow the holy spirit to give you the strength to move forward and heal.
God Bless you and Jesus loves you!
I sure hope you leave. If there’s something going on there and the other ministry staff isn’t aware of it, I’m concerned for their ability to hear from God! Get out and definitely file a complaint. You don’t want to be under that kind of spiritual covering.
Dear Vanessa,
Thank you for sharing your story, and situation of harassment. It appears as if the Minister of the church and others involved have serious issues. File complaints leaving a paper trail, move up the ladder of church command, if that does not work maybe go even up higher. Even though he is a Minister he is human and these flaws are unacceptable for a man of his position. He needs help, than he will not be able to cause such harm to others in the future.
May God give you the strength, insight, and courage to help you along this journey.
I would leave before anything worse happened. You are only being psychologically damaged further by staying and to those sickos the fact that you keep coming means you “like” it. My guess is that nobody is going to believe you or care. It doesn’t matter who’s right. Get away. Move to a good church.
I ALSO WAS A VICTIM OF A PASTOR WAS HARASSING THE OTHER WOMEN IN THE CHURCH I SEEN SO MUCH WICKEDNESS IN HIM. I SEEN HIM STAY IN WOMEN FACE’S AND I SEEN HOW THE TATICS HE USE AGAINST THEM HE TELL THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO HERE IN THE BOOK OF TITUS TELLS IT ALL. IT TOUCH HOME WHEN HE STARTED TOWARDS MY WIFE WHEN IM AT WORK HE POPS UP AND CONSTANTLY HARASSING HER I TOLD HIS BISHOP AND NOTHING WAS DONE. WHEN THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS GOING ON IT IS NOT JUST THAT PASTOR. SOMETIME IT HAS BEEN PAST DOWN FROM RELIGOUS GENERATIONS. HIS FATHER IN THE GOSPEL PASS IT ON AND SO ON AND SO ON. BUT I CAN TELL WHO IS ALL A VICTIM ONE THING THAT GOD WILL REVENGE ALL.
I am so sorry this happened to you! You have every right to feel angry, hurt, devestated, etc., etc. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Unfortunately, there are too many sexual predators in pulpits who prey on the women in their congregations.
I side-stepped my pastors attempt to sexually seduce me, when I was brand new to the church. Later learned he’s been doing that type of thing for years and years. In spite of nearly having a nervous breakdown, I decided to stay. Eight years later, I still attend. At the time of his inappropriate behavior, I confided in a few trusted woman friends.
After much time (years), I seemingly have worked things out in my head.
Eventually, I confronted him privately about his abuse. It was the most empowering thing I did. Be patient with yourself.
May God Bless You