Speak Up!

Jenna, Alaska    

     I recently left a job after being sexually harassed for the third time in a row. I learned from the former times that only my reputation would be hurt if I spoke up.

     At one job, the boss was looking at child porn on the Internet and then asking me if I thought the girl was attractive! Even worse, he got away with it.  

     But I did at least embarrass him with that company by speaking out.  I used all the avenues for complaining–EEOC, what have you.  They only wanted me to sign something guaranteeing that companies privacy in exchange for a measly payoff–so I didn’t sign.  I told them to shove it, wait and wonder what I’m going to do.  So, I was resigned. 

     At my most recent job, it started very slowly.  A compliment here, a hug there.  (I cringed at being hugged.)   I didn’t read the signs right away.  Maybe this is something I have to live with.     

     Then, the weird comments. “I had a dream, but I cant tell you about it.” Blush, blush.  “I’m going to Ireland so I can have a few of you fixed to my modifications.”  And– smelling my hair and grunting. 

        Once, while I was on the floor plugging in a printer, he stuck his hand up my shirt. “You don’t want to know what I was thinking. I cant tell you.”  After that, he waited for my co-worker to leave and grabbed me when I tried to push past him and wouldn’t let go until I screamed “Stop! Stop!”  Towards the end, he took every opportunity while we were alone to flirt and put his hands on me.  Saying “No!” or “Stop!” would only make him laugh. 

     Oh, and he’s married with a child on the way.

     I didn’t report it because I knew from past experience what would happen and I knew the uppers wouldn’t believe me.

     I felt so icky.  When I thought of being left alone with him, I’d go into this panic thing where I couldn’t breathe or make decisions.  I couldn’t afford to lose my job again.  I’m living hand to mouth as it is, but I did indeed walk away.  I quit on the spot.  That was foolish, I know.  I admit I did nothing right about this.
    This time after I left, I wrote the harasser an email saying he had no right, yada yada.  I said it was between us, but if I found out he hurt someone else, I would be there.

      Well, he called the company lawyer and i had to go in there for a statement. I knew it was a waste of my time, and it was. They wrote it off as I was lying, they said: “well, he denies it so it’s a case of he said she said.” and the worst part was they didn’t even ask my coworker if he saw anything. They didn’t ask anyone but him, and of course he denied everything, and said I was a bad employee who was about to be fired anyway and just looking for a way to attack him. I was punished with a bad reference from that company. I gave them eight years in another department without incident, and this was how I was repaid.
     I felt so hurt, lost, confused, I felt like I didn’t do enough at the time. I don’t know where my rent money is going to come from- nothing. Nobody believes me except my friend and she still works there and has to play nice with him.

     The worst thing is, I know there is someone out there that takes advantage of women. He knew I was vulnerable, no parents, no partner to come storming in. He exploited that. He knew what he did was wrong too.  He was careful to not leave any witnesses. He carefully plotted his attacks, gauged each incident, pushing a bit further each time to see what he could get away with, and it would have gotten worse if I stayed: much worse. 
     I’m just frustrated.  I don’t want to work in my field anymore, which is male dominated.  I just don’t feel safe. 

     And I know I’m telling the truth and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t protect the next girl, because they won’t believe me at all.  I KNOW he is a sexual predator.  I KNOW he’ll do it again.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 at 12:57 pm and is filed under Effects of Harassment, Formal Investigations and Litigation, Sexual Harassment in the Workplace. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.