Why couldn’t he just issue me the ticket and be done with it?
Humiliated
I used to work in a mostly male industry, carpentry, mold-making, machining, etc. Since the men there were of an old-school type, I endured severe sexual harassment all the time. One time, a guy put his hand up the front of my skirt and another tried to take my bra off. Plus, there was tons of verbal abuse. I developed a really tough skin and learned to fight back and as a result got fired. But that was years ago. I luckily haven’t had to deal with this kind of thing for a very long time. It’s been so long, I forgot how infuriating it is…until the other day.
I was driving to work and mistakenly made a left hand turn into the wrong lane. I admit that this was wrong. It had become a bad habit.
Well I was immediately flagged over by a motorcycle cop. I did everything the officer said and gave him all of my information and he issued me a ticket for $110.00 plus 2 demerit points on my license. I agreed to pay with no argument.
Then you know what he said? Here it is, I quote: “You know what smart little girls do? They do what smart people do. Dumb people pay the ticket, smart people fight it. I want you to be a smart girl and fight the ticket. I want you to come with me to court and I’ll get the judge to reduce your ticket to 35$ and no demerit points, but you have to take me out to dinner.”
I paid the ticket because I couldn’t take the time off work to go to court and for all the preliminary visits to the court office to arrange the court date. I looked on our city’s police website about complaining about this jerk and if the complaint was accepted as legit, I’d have to go to a hearing and face this guy to work it out. It’s my word against his and I know it wouldn’t go anywhere.
What’s more is that I’d be afraid the ‘brotherhood’ would be on the lookout for someone who complained against one of theirs. I’ve heard stories of that kind of thing.
Why couldn’t he of just issued me a ticket and be done with it? I didn’t mouth off, I wasn’t flirting to get out of the ticket, I never said a word to him other than to answer his questions. What’s worse is that he was old and probably has a daughter or granddaughter my age.
I feel angry and humiliated. I worked through this kind of thing before but now I have such a good job where that is not tolerated. So, I let my guard down. I never thought I’d have to deal with this from a cop! Just because he’s a cop doesn’t mean he’s a good person.
No matter how hard I try, I feel like I have to work even harder now to prove myself.
He has most likely done this before and probably raped them if the women went to dinner with him. You actually avoided something really terrible.
[...] story) also has elements of Quid Pro Quo harassment–and yes, by another professor. Humiliated shared a story of harassment by a police officer who told her he would help her fight a ticket if [...]