Speak Up!

Rachel, Alabama   
     I have been married to my husband for 14 years this month. In October 2007, my world was turned upside down.
     My father-in-law came to my house around 9am…I recognized his distinct knock. I had just turned on the shower and decided I was not about to redress and answer the door.  But when I finished with my shower he was still knocking (30 min later).     
     When I opened the door, right off hand I noticed he looked odd.  He came in and said he was just wanting to know what channel and what time the Alabama football game began.  Next he asked me if I had coffee, made some small chit chat and then came the humdinger!
     He informed me that my mother in-law did not have sex with him and that he just did not know what to do.  He repeated this many many times. Then several times he hesitated while saying, “Can I ask a favor?” Finally, he said “Do you think you could help me out?”
     I was floored.  It seemed my head became dizzy and my body so heavy.  I remember thinking…he did not mean what I think he meant.
     My father-in-law went on to tell me that he had been trying to get the nerve to ask me this since last November (2006 – 11 months).
     I remember feeling panic, fear…..I did not know what to do, but I knew that I had to get him out of my home, quickly!  I recall saying something to him like I really needed to pack if I was going to drive up to Homecoming.
     As he stood up, he came toward me so fast, grabbed me and kissed my neck and whispered something like “Will you help me out?”  
     All I could think to get him out was to say “Yes, I will think about it” while moving him toward the exit finally and locking mt door as fast as I could.
     I made several phone calls…one to my husband. He could not believe it.  Thank God, when my husband confronted my father in-law about this, he did admit it! No one in his family believed this until they understood that he HAD ADMITED what he did.
     Needless to say, it was all swept under the rug…psychology appointment was made for him, but not kept.
     I suffered through extreme nightmares and obsessive behaviors (checked window & door locks numerous times a day/night).  I still have nightmares, not as often…I can smell certain smells that remind me of my father-in-law or think I hear him or someone knocking on a door like he does and I go into panic/anxiety attacks.
     The family made one excuse after another which pointed the blame at me.  I did NOTHING wrong! I am a mom, wife and social work student, but not someone who wanted this man to do this to me!  My husband has recently said that I should just move on and stop pitying myself.
     My father-in-law STILL shows up unannounced at my home and will walk in my house if the door is unlocked!
     Why do I have to suffer for this while everyone forgets his wrong doing?
     It angers me so much to know he made me feel unsafe and threatened in my own home…the place that I am to find comfort and security in.  He stole my life and no one seems to understand!

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 6:25 pm and is filed under Health Effects, Sexual Harassment in Miscellaneous Settings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.