Do you love me?
Mary, Colorado
Several months ago, I began working in an outpatient rehab. There was a client there who I also knew from the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I never saw his file because he was not one of the people who I was responsible for in terms of appointments, counseling, or other services.
One night, there was a note on my car. It read: “I love you. Do you love me? Check Yes or No.”
That concerned me tremendously. Later that evening at an AA meeting, the aforementioned client saw me and started laughing. He asked if I got his note. I responded that such a note wasn’t funny given the environment I worked in. He said he was sorry and only meant it as a joke.
After that, I would see him several times a day. On my days off, if I was in the grocery store, library, coffee shop, just about anywhere, he would be there. Believe it or not, I thought that because this is a small town, it wasn’t unusual. However, I began to realize that I know many people here and don’t see any of them everywhere I go.
I left that job, and moved just this past weekend. Just this morning, as I was walking to another AA clubhouse, not wanting to see him at the one I know he attends, he was driving right up the road beside me. This was at approximately 6:35 a.m.!
I have contacted the police now. But I’m wondering how an individual could figure out all the places his victim will be?
I’m feeling very vulnerable and frightened.
Very creepy. It’s good you have called the police. Make sure they take a report. Keep changing your patterns and don’t go to the same places all the time. Also, get a camera phone and start snapping picures of him when he shows up where you are. It isn’t illegal to go to the grocery store, library, coffee shop, etc. But having documentation that he is appearing at all these places where you go supports that he may be following you.–Jennifer
I had a similar thing happen in college. I was working at the school gym and I met this guy. He was really nice and we started talking when I saw him at the gym but then he started coming everyday at the times I worked. I wondered how he knew when I was going to be there but I didn’t really pay much attention. Then, I saw him at my co-ed volleyball games and he was holding a sign up for me! I was like ok???? He was from the same hometown as I, One weekend I went home for the weekend and went to visit my sister come to find out he worked right next door to her! Then I saw him at Walmart and several other places it was really weird. I thought that since we lived in a small town and we were both in college that maybe we had to make the same stops. He eventually stopped comeing to the gym and I stopped seeing him places. I had told a couple people that I worked with and I think word got around that I was feeling weird about him and seeing him everywhere. People said he just really liked me so that was his way of “running into me” so that we could talk. But I was so uncomfortable with it. I am glad he stopped. You never can be sure about anyone even if they seem nice.
“You never can be sure about anyone even if they seem nice.”
That’s true, and it’s best to trust your instincts. Running into people in town doesn’t automatically make one a stalking victim. But if your gut is telling you something is wrong here, it’s best to take precautions. I didn’t take the early stages of my own stalking seriously at all. I didn’t even connect the anxiety I felt to any of it. Boy, was I naive. –Jennifer
I’ve had the same experience — VERY simular. I even got a restraining order (over a year ago) he is now following me everywhere everyday and there isn’t much I can do about it. The worst part is it took sooooo long for the people in AA to believe me OR at least it felt like it. You know, oh he’s just spiritually sick blah blah blah. People in recovery are learning to see the best in people not realizing that some people are just unhearted pyschopaths. MAKE SURE TO TAKE PICTURES! The police just keep telling me it must be by chance or there is nothing they can do about it. I don’t get it! The restraining order says he can’t be within 500 ft of me and he CONTINUALLY is. Sooo frusterating!!!
God bless you hon!
NoHelpFromPolice,
Your situation sounds very serious and if you have a restraining order that states he is not to be within 500ft then the police has to do something. I would think? That is awful he shouldn’t still be following you and if he is then somebody legally has to do something. I mean what is a restraining order for if not for that very reason!!! This makes me mad.
Vangogh
Well, his new “game” is to come the opposite way of me. I’m guessing follow me w/his car drive past where I am driving to, jogging, etc. and come the other way knowing that these can not be proved as stalking but just coincidences. I called 911 yesterday as he passed me on the bike trail I run on (the police was actually nice about it but said he couldn’t arrest him) I called them last Thursday as he was going toward my home and I was leaving (the police said they were not going to drive over and measure 500 feet even though he passed me BUT in the opposite direction), the Friday prior on his bike right in front of my car, the Sunday before that opposite of me on my way to church… He also is now stalking my friend especially after we hang out. Its frustrating but he doesn’t send gifts, call or leave any evidence. He just follow me everywhere… I know its only a matter of time before SOMETHING happens. I don’t even care if something bad happens to me as long as his @ss is in jail where it belongs. I believe he is the devil in skin. Any suggestions are more than welcomed!! Thank you Vangogh for your support. Alot of people react by loosing eye contact with me and acting like they didn’t hear what I said. I don’t get it ….