I am constantly looking over my shoulder now
Ann, Maine
Recently, I started getting text messages from my ex telling me that he was going to kill me. I brushed them off, as I had moved a couple of times since he and I were together. Then he sent me messages about what I was doing when I was doing it. He told me about when I was doing the dishes or folding laundry.
I went to the police and they told me there was nothing they could do. I showed them all the messages. The cop called my ex and warned him away.
Still, he sent me more text messages. Then he started sending them to me at work! On top of this, he left notes in my bag, on my desk, in my car.
I filed for a Protection Order, but because they can’t find him to serve him the order is not in place yet.
He broke into my locked car and left a box on my front seat. He told me that it would be the perfect size for my cat. (Although my cat was not inside).
He broke into house and stole my meds. He emptied out my inhaler and left a message thanking me for inviting him into my locked house. I added dead bolts and locks to all the windows. Before I was able to, he had already broken back into the house and stole some of my jewelry. He has been returning it to me at work.
I have reported this all to the police, but they really haven’t done anything. They say they are looking for him.
Meanwhile, I am stuck in my house. I can’t go anywhere without someone going with me. I am constantly looking over my shoulder for him. I’m afraid to go into my driveway alone! I don’t know what to do anymore.
Ann, the men stalking me did similar things, letting me know in the messages they sent that they were watching me by telling me what I was doing. Sometimes, they were just watching my through my windows. But they also rigged my phones to act as bugs so they could hear what I was doing. This can be done with both cell phones and land lines, so you may want to get yours checked. (Stalkers may upload software to cell phones, or install “infinity devices” on landlines to turn them into very effective bugs that turn on when the stalker dials the phone number.)
The best thing you can do right now is educate yourself about stalking and what you can do to protect yourself. There are some great books. Two I recommend highly are “Surviving a Stalker” and “The Gift of Fear.” For me, the stories and information in these books were better than Xanax at calming my fears and helping me get a perspective.
–Jennifer
How scary! This is awful I can’t believe no one can do anything for you? I just feel like you need to find the “right” person at the police station maybe someone higher up or something.
I will have you in my thoughts and I really hope something happens in your favor soon.
vangogh
i just wanted to tell u that i am going through the same thing my sisters kids dad has been stalking her me another sister dad and momand our kids the police dont seem to be helping alot i really could use some help i hope it gets better for u
GOd bless you! I’m not sure what kind of community you live in (small, huge, etc) is there anyway of getting this information published to the local newspaper? Freedom of speech is all we have left when the police seem to fail in “protecting and serving.” However, if we get the community on our side to make some noise to police it may encourage them to TAKE ACTION on the issue.
I would like to have the police in my community watch Stalking: Real Fear, Real Crime. It was a lifetime video. Here’s a link from utube for the 3 parts:
http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=KQj&q=stalking:+real+fear,+real+crime&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wv#q=stalking%3A+real+fear%2C+real+crime&hl=en&emb=0&client=firefox-a
God bless you dear!!
My heart goes out to you and what you are going through. I myself am going through that now and have been for the past year. The law is no help..it really is like the movies until they stab you pretty much they do nothing for the victim. To be frank no one can understand this until they themselves go through it and that to me is sad. It isnt until i tell my friends that my stalker went to my mothers nursing home to kill her that they sorta get it and even then they dont. Are lives will never be the same and I think its high time the law and justice system start looking at stalking in a more serious light. It is a horrible thing for anyone to go through. Many lives are affected not just the person being stalked,, their loved ones are affected as well. I pray for you to continue to be safe and strong. I know you feel alone but there a lot of us out there and as i started our hearts are all with you as they are to anyone else going through a situation like this. Stay Strong, Keep your head up ;)))
My ex boyfriend stalked me in much of the same way. He would break into my house and stole pics of me and my phone and extra car keys. He texted and called me some times up to 200 times a day. He slashed my tires, put sugar in my gas tank. Broke into my mail box, and the list goes on and on. It is absolutely the worst thing I have ever been through. Hopefully they can get the protective order served on him soon. It is very frustrating at first, but I feel like it saved my life. If they can serve it, then you can make a police report every time he calls you or violates the order in any way. It takes some time and alot of work but after doing this for about 7 months, the DA office where I live finally filed felony stalking charge. He was arrested and spend 1 1/2 years in County jail and was then sent to prison. He is still there now, but is up for parole this month. He has been transfered to a less secure prison and gotten ahold a cell phone and called me yesterday morning. I reported this to the prison and the local police and the DA’s office is filing an objection to parole. Being stalked is a horrible ordeal to go through and very terrifying. If you want to talk to some one who has been throught it my email is asmangold@yahoo.com. Good luck!