I feel very disrespected
Amber
I’ve been working at my job for a little over a year, and since the second or third month that I’ve been working here I’ve been harassed by my boss. I was blind to it at first. It’s a small, private company and I am the only female working in the office. It is usually just me and my boss.
It started out in the lunch room one day with a comment from him saying “You’re not too young for me, but I’m too old for you,” and “Age is nothing but a number.”
I didn’t get what he was referring to at first, and just laughed about it. I did remind him that I was seriously involved with someone my own age and was very happy with him.
Later he started doing things like playing with my hair, and massaging my shoulders. He would tell me things like he wants to run away with me and buy me diamonds and plan a plot to have my boyfriend taken care of so he is no longer around. (It still makes me shudder thinking about it.)
I would lean forward and tell him to stop but he wouldn’t take me seriously and just smile and walk away.
I was furious. Numerous times I’ve had to confront him and tell him how inappropriate it is for him to say things like that to me and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and it’s wrong. Every time he promised he would stop and it would never happen again. He’s a liar.
It happened yesterday again. He ordered some company shirts for a few people and asked me if I could try one on for him.
I said, absolutely not.
Then a minute later he told me about how I filled out my sweater (referring to my breasts). He immediately apologized and told me “Oh, I forgot I can’t joke with you like that”.
I didn’t say anything at the time. But the next morning I went into his office and confronted him about it. I told him it needs to stop and I’m sick and tired of it.
He yelled at me and told me he apologized and he’s tired of feeling like he’s walking on egg shells around me.
I continued to say what I wanted to say and he then starting screaming at me and told me if I don’t like it and if I can’t take a joke then “the door is there, use it.” Over and over he told me to leave. He also told me I’m a child and need to grow up and learn how to take a joke.
I’m extremely offended and feel very disrespected. I’m afraid of losing my job and I won’t quit because I am well paid and I know I won’t find another job easily right now. I’m uncomfortable here and I hate my boss so much for doing all of this to me. I don’t deserve it.
Damn Girl- Sounds like a similar situation I’m in… the whole, ” Why don’t you grow up?” bit. But I must tell you I feel for you because your situation is worse than mine and I still reported him. The thing is… discussions about things of a sexual nature isn’t a joke in the work place. Its inapropriate Oh and the guilt trips… same situation. You can lean on me about this one. You’ll get your respect back if you report him.
I suggest one sollution:
Arm yourself in a digital sound recorder
or even better a mini digital camera,
make sure it is well hidden and that it has
memory space to write and just press the REC button.
Don’t let the male bastard abuse you.
Take him to the court with your material.
You better lose that job and sue him and he gets a charge
for sexual harassment.
You will win – he will be punished.
If you need help on technology tips,
drop me a line.
Good luck!
I agree, collect some evidence. Even use and audio player on a cell phone. When I was being sexually harassed I failed to do this, and really wish I had in hindsight. Remember sexual harassment usually happens when someone has some form of power or authority over you and you are put in a difficult or awkward situation. Your boss is taking full advantage of this. By collecting evidence you will win over him and hopefuly stop other co-workers and future co-workers being harassed as well if he gets caught out and put off by it.
These are great suggestions for documenting, but make sure they are legal to use where you live. In some states it is illegal to record conversations with others without their knowledge. In other states it is okay to secretly record conversations where you are one of the parties involved in the conversation. Research the laws where you live before you do this. Make sure your documented evidence will be usable. –Jennifer
I recorded the conversation on my phone when I confronted him, but later found out it’s illegal in my state to record unless I have his permission. Working here for me is getting worse, he’s stopped the sexual comments, but he is really nasty and mean to me now and making it difficult for me to work here. My boyfriend suggests me finding a new job, but it’s not that easy. The job market it terrible right now. It’s like he’s probing and picking and looking for any way to fire me and it sucks, I really don’t know what to do. I absolutely dread waking up in the morning knowing I have to come here…it is now difficult for me to face the day. I can’t even enjoy my weekends anymore because I know I have to come back to work on Monday.
You need to file a claim with the EEOC or a local agency for the state you live in, what he is dong is sexual harassment and it is against the law in every state.. You should also seek legal counsel to make sure all your T’s are crossed. I’m in the same place you are right now and its not easy but it will be worth it. Only you have to wake up and face the person you are, don’t let some low life cloud that image
i know i would not find a good paying job in a while but i left my ex boss is telling every one he made a joke and if he had known it would have affected my job he would not have said any thing to me but i really did love that job i regret leaving but i walked away with my dignity i hope things work out for u but try reporting him
Amber,
You put my throughts into words and I am stunned that you feel the exact same way! My boss was being so mean to me after I confronted him. I was not allowed to use sick time or vacation time; and I got in trouble for things that were not even true. I would wake up and rather be so sick that I coudln’t lift my head instead of going to work. They have since moved my boss to another office for different reasons and I am so thankful. However, I still want to leave this company because it is a constant reminder of the occurences.
Wel i am a guy and had an associate text me through out the day. I had know idea who this was but she was saying maybe i need to talk to you wife, hows your baby? So i text back who is this this associate thought it was funny to mess with me! I had know idea who it was. Then another associate told me who it was and then i played back being this associate had no idea i knew. Then at 2 am i get a call from the associats boyfriend threatening me and now im up for sexual harrassment. She received my phone number from facebook i never offered it to her!