When you move, (and I really hope you’ve moved by now-)request a confidential address from your state. (California provides dv victims with a confidential PO BOX in their “Safe at Home” program.)Get an additional phone line, with new number. Set up an additional password with all your utility companies, cell phone, credit card, bank and everything else which may list your personal information of any kind. Put a po box on your driver’s license, preferably from a different town. LADP claims the most effective security system is a dog. Though you need to be able to be a responsible dog owner, and don’t want to put your animal in danger, if kept indoors they can alert you to intruders, and if the right dog, may deter. You will want to check that windows and doors and locks are secure, and not the type of locks you can pick (ask in Home Depot which brand is best). Choose a place with metal doors, involved neighbours and install a good deadbolt and motion sensor light. If you have a photo of him, let your neighbours have a copy, inform them he is breaking the law by approaching your building. Don’t be embarassed it is in their best interest to be informed as well, and you did nothing to “ask” for this.

In case you haven’t yet, find a good volunteer from the Domestic Violence clinic at a courthouse, and drill them for resources (for financial, pro-bono assistance, and more) and a safety plan.

An addendum to Sherry Timbushes post, don’t expect your friends to understand, and try not to hold it against them. Stalking is irrational behaviour, and I’ve had a certified social worker tell me she’s encountered victims who were themselves in denial, because facing the reality was too great an emotional hurdle. So to ask friends in your shoes to understand is a tall order. It is peoples’ tendency to try to rationalize irrational behaviour, and blame the victim. But as frustrating as fighting for your rights and freedom will be for you in this situation, remember that you are not alone. For a year and a half I was cut off from friends who didn’t know how to deal with a crisis that lasted so long. But for the most part, they are all back in my life. Don’t give up advocating for yourself! And don’t give up hope. Keep thorough documentation, hope, and perservere.

Consider taking some self-defense classes and let it be widely known you’re doing so. Learning how to shoot and use a gun can be very self-empowering. I post a used bulls-eye target on my cube wall, in an inconspicuous place of course, to let all the guys know I have a gun and can use it.