They said my clothes must have led him on
Simone, Trinidad
Yesterday, my boss approached me with sexual advances. I was stunned. I could not believe this was happening. I did not know what to do, what to say, or who to talk to. I thought, I will tell him I did not like what he did and continue to work there. But the way I felt, I could not go back to work. So I left the job.
His wife and daughter also works there. I told his wife over the phone what he did and I would not be back . Now they are talking about what I used to wear must have led him on.
But all I wear are normal black pants and a shirt, nothing to tight or to revealing.
They have made me feel like it was my fault.
Simone, the same thing happened to me. After I was harassed at school by professors–I was a university student–some of the female faculty said I “send signals” with my clothes because I wore “short skirts and jewelry.” But nothing I wore was ever provocative. The shortest skirt I own is cut just above the knee and was loose-fitting. Just about everyone wears jewelry, and everything I wore was tasteful, nothing was loud. Most days I wore loose-fitting jeans and t-shirts with a blazer.
It is sad, but some women can respond to the harassment of others with jealousy and victim-blaming. –Jennifer
I was so worried about the same thing whenever I got SH. I knew that what I wore was never revealing but I was scared because I have “style” they would say the same things about me.
Four years later…I to this day have problems wearing the color pink because my harasser once said an comment about my pink shirt I had on and how I looked great in pink. I hardly ever wear anything pink. But, just yesterday I bought two pink shirts and I feel good about buying them and being able to wear pink! I know that doesn’t sound like a triumph or anything but for me it is a start.
I always have issues with this and post on the forum all the time about being confused about why I can’t wear what I want if it isn’t revealing at all because I am not even comfortable to be revealing so I would never but anyways, I understand where you are coming from and they shouldn’t do that but these type of people will do just about anything to make you look like you asked for it when in all actually they are the ones at fault and just trying to make you look bad.
vangogh