I am a gay man and want to share my story.
     I was a PhD student and everyone said I could be a great professor or something like that. But everything changed when I went to a small European country to conduct fieldwork. (I was an anthropology major, so I had to do some research outside UK.) I needed to work with a particular professor there and he’s gay, but I didn’t think that would affect any aspects of my research or work with him.
     One day he invited me into his house to discuss my research. I went there and he was waiting for me, naked. He started talking about his sex life, and how much he likes to have sex with his students.  He told me how good looking and “cute” I was…Then he asked me to have a dinner at a restaurant with him. I was not comfortable at all but I felt I had to say yes in order to build a professional relation for my research. However, instead, he took me a gay bar, grabbed my hand and forced me to dance with him. I said “No” but he kept touching all over my body and I was completely disgusted.  A couple of days later, he again told me to come to his place to disuss my research. This time, he tried to rape me and I ran away. Later, he showed up at my home and forced me to have sex with him.
    Then he began to retaliate.  He has huge political power in his country and used it to prevent my research everywhere. He had promised me that I could teach at his university, but no. But the worst thing was that I needed his letter to obtain a visa, and he never wrote it. Also, everyone started talking about me, like “He’s your sugar daddy, isn’t he? I am sure you are so good at it and you can do anything in this country.”
     I really wanted to take legal action but never could because in that country almost all sexual harassment cases were dismissed, and there’s no such thing as gay rights there.
     So I reported what he did to my advisers at school and they told me to come back to the UK as my situation was “an extreme emergency.” I came back and talked with them. They gave me a new project to complete my PhD. I needed some rest so I went back to my mother’s house. I read papers and books and wrote a new proposal. But they never responded–there’s a strong connection between my advisers, my school, and this professor.  Instead of helping me, they buried the case.  I called everyone in the department but nothing came out of it. In the end I dropped out of the program.
    I got a very serious depression after the sexual harassment but it got worse after I left the school as it had been my dream to have a PhD and teach. Also since then I can’t form long-term relationships with guys as I am now afraid of men in some way. I also suffered from panic disorder for a while. And I am still traumatized–I can’t read any academic books, meet anyone from the school, I can go on and on regarding the effects this has had on me.
    This sexual harassment happened 2 years ago but I’m still struggling. I hope people will take sexual harassment at school and gay sexual harassment more seriously.

     I just started a new job and the supervisor continually makes degrading remarks about fellow workers personal odors, sexual preferences, appearances, working habits.

     He is a total locker room bully and this week alone has asked me if I like little boys, have I ever considered a sex change operation, that I have a nice ass; I even caught him taking photos of me with his camera phone.

     I reported his conduct to upper management. Later, this supervisor confronted me in the warehouse and asked whether I had knowledge of the number of employees out on workman’s comp. He said that I better be careful or I might be next.

     I started bringing a tape recorder to work and have now started a paper trail to upper management of my concern of the safety of the public. This is a major household moving company therefore it extends into the public. His remarks about holding down women are really sick. Upper management has not responded to my complaints.

     A while ago, I was hired at a company that supplies wires for aircraft.  The supervisor who interviewed me knew that a  fellow employee had recommended me based upon his  knowledge of my work ethic.

     On my fifth day of employment, I was approached by this supervisor.  He stated that him and a fellow employee were going to have drinks at a bar a mile away from the workplace and that I should join them.

     Wanting to get to know everyone better and seeing no harm in it I agreed to go.

     At the bar, my supervisor continued to buy shot after shot for me.  After the fourth shot of tequila, I suggested that I was good and needed no more to drink. After constant ridicule,  I gave into another and another. 

     By the time the alcohol had settled, I could not walk without the help of others. Knowing that I could not drive in the condition I was in and that my phone was not in service, my supervisor suggested that he help get myself a hotel room down the street. Wanting a safe place to go sleep off my state of mind I agreed.

     As we got to the hotel, my supervisor stated that he himself didn’t feel safe driving either and that he would get us each a room. After fifteen minutes of waiting he returned telling me that they only had one room but it was a double bed room. Knowing that he had paid for it and that I needed someplace to go soon to be sick, I didn’t argue.

     Upon being assisted to the room, my supervisor had leaned in close with arm around me and tried to kiss me. I stated to him that I was not gay and pushed him away.

     We had gotten into the room and I immediately proceeded to the bathroom. I had began vomiting up all the alcohol that was consumed earlier that evening. I exited the bathroom and went to sleep on one of the two beds.

     The next morning knowing that I should have never been in that situation in the first place and not wanting to have to justify myself to everyone about that evening, I decided not to tell anyone about it. Besides, my supervisor expressed to me that if I told anyone we would both lose our jobs.

     The next following week at work, I was subjected to sexual comments (via text messaging) from this supervisor. Stating that he was a gay man and he knew a gay man when he had seen one (referring to me). He also would go on to state that I only had a job because I was good-looking and that he needed the “eye candy” around.

     I began to tell my fellow employees that I was looking for a new job as a result of not feeling comfortable at the work place. I also told them about the occurrence where he had tried to kiss me. Word had gotten back around to him of what I had been telling my fellow employees.

     He pulled my friend and fellow employee aside and told him about that night adding fabricated details to the story. He told him that he had given me a bath and that I had proceeded to have sexual intercourse with him–all of which never happened (I would be willing to take a polygraph test to prove my innocence). He also told my friend that I wasn’t a friend to him at all and was trying to get him fired.

     After being informed of all this information, I confronted my supervisor (via text message) “So I F**ked you in the ass huh?” No reply, So I sent another text. “You had better tell the truth or you won’t have a job.” After that text message I received a text message back ” I never said that, someone is messing with you.”

     Wanting justification, I called him expressing to him that he has destroyed my reputation and that he needed to set the word straight on what happened. He declined and stated that I was no longer a employee with them and I was to turn my badge in.

     I’m now in a position where I don’t know what course of action I should take. Everything mentioned above is factual and like I said I would be willing to take any form of lie detecting test to prove it.

     At my school, there’s a teacher. The odd teacher. We’ll call him Mr. Q. Mr. Q, since day one of journalism class, has sexually harassed my classmates and I. I just feel like I need to say this, to get it off my chest. I need to talk to some more people about it, because I just can’t keep it to myself.

     He’s the teacher who’s always putting his hand on your shoulder, brushing up against you in the hall, or standing too close to you in class. That was weird of course, but we more or less dismissed it in the begining.

     Later, things started to decline. There would be comments, more aggressive movements, favoritism. Everyone in class saw it, and everyone knew that it happened only to the boys. I started to get worried, but simply ignored it. I never even conceived what was happening.

    One day, while a (male) friend and I were looking at the latest issue if the paper, he came and stood in between us, put his arm around both of us, and asked us what we were doing. Creepy enough, right? Well, I immediately withdrew from the situation. But as I was walking away, he said, “Wow Joe, you have big shoulders.” I was more than creeped out. But something in me said that I was being stupid, or imagining things. I kept quiet.

     Well, today in class, we were discussing the type of things that wouldn’t be appropriate to print about someone. He said something along the lines of, “For example, I’m sure Joe wouldn’t appreciate me writing about how he bungee jumped off a cliff in a speedo.” I nearly collapsed.

     I didn’t say another word that whole class. I was so disturbed that I sat, blank faced for the first ten minutes of my English test, and it took the whole period for my hand to stop shaking.

    I knew then that I had to talk to a counselor. Immediately.

     After school today, I wandered the halls for about an hour before I had the courage to go talk to a guidance counselor. Does that tell you something was wrong?

     When I got into her office, I told her everything. About the whole year, the paper incident, the comments, the speedo remark, everything. She was more than alarmed, but her response was that she would talk to him tomorrow and to return if things didn’t stop.

      So here I am, feeling all messed up inside and I don’t know why. I did NOTHING wrong. I don’t want to think about him, and I can’t hardly stand being in the same room with him. I’ve decided that if he isn’t fired, I’m not going back to Journalism next semester. I LOVE journalism.

     Right now, I feel stronger, better, and that I have done the right thing. But if it wasn’t for the support of a great friend and this website, I might still be terrified of waking up tomorrow and going to school. I can weather the storm if it means it will keep someone else from getting hurt the way I did, or worse.

     I have recently come out of a hostile work environment where a woman (I am also a woman) would constantly put her arm around me, and ask me about my sexuality.

     When I finally spoke up re this issue I was demoted from office manger to doing the laundry. I was constantly watched, spied on and accused of stealing. I should also mention this was at an animal shelter so when I had to do the laundry I was dealing w/ feces and urine on the towels and sheets. One other fun thing was the dryer would not always work so I had to haul the wet laundry to a Laundromat in the heat to get the clothing dry. After a while I was also accused of stealing laundry money.

     If it wasn’t for a friend helping me through this situation and him finding me a new job I would probably still be there. I worked there for 3 years and dealt with the torment for 8 months. They didn’t even want me to get a new job. We found this out when we hired an agency to see what kind of recommendation they would give. They wouldn’t give any information.

     I am now in the Human Rights Division of Sexual Harassment w/ a case pending there.

     I hope this helps whoever reads this to know that being harassed by one woman to another exists. Thank you for this web site as well.

When I was a freshman in High School I was sexually harassed. A senior in my Chorus classes decided to play pranks on me early in the school. The “pranks” escalated into sexual gestures, and advances, after only a few weeks. The harassment started in the first few weeks of school and picked up until I finally reported it in March of the same school year. I was reluctant to report it because guys can’t be victims of sexual harassment, or so I convinced myself. The whole year I hated school, and mostly my Chorus classes, because of one guy who would not leave me alone. When I finally had enough I reported it with the aid of my parents. The next few days I went through the “red tape” and settled it with the school and district. The hardest part was that I was upset that the guy’s record was going to be damaged with a harassment issue. I wish people could just realize the impact of their actions on others, and themselves.

     I was about 37 years old when I enrolled at a large university in Houston to explore a new career path and earn prerequisites for graduate school; but instead of starting a new journey, I suffered gender and sexual harassment by a number of professors in several departments.

     Among others, various behaviors included lewd gestures and expressions aimed at me in class, refusing to speak to me or answer questions, and stalking by one of my professors. In one department, even though I was making straight A’s, it was clear that my status was not going to be measured by my performance, but contingent on my willingness to pursue professors sexually, and they became hostile when I did not respond accordingly–I even suspected there was a bet going on who was going to sleep with me. (My straight-A status was dismissed and they were saying I must be cheating since women who look like I do are “stupid.”)

     I never made any formal reports, and one professor seemed to regret his actions, and seemed to want to make amends.  But a female faculty member reported some of what was going on, and consequently, at least two professors later lost their jobs.  At no point did anyone ever talk to me about what was happening, or the extent of it, and I did not support the university’s actions since all I wanted was for the behavior to stop.  (I felt the situation could have been mediated.)  Indeed, their bungling only made things worse for me.

     Even though I never reported anything, I was blamed not only for the results, but also the harassment–they said that because I’ m feminine, I deserved it.  Then the backlash began.  Professors did not want me in their classes, and I even received hate mail.

     I had begun to have tremendous difficulty concentrating which made it very hard to read, study, and to perform well on exams. My grades began to suffer, along with my health and my job performance.

     Since I no longer trusted the instructors at this school, and hoped to move on, I transferred to a graduate program at a small, private catholic university, also in Houston. I was hoping there I could “lay low” for a time while continuing my studies. Mostly, I hoped I could begin to heal. However, the professors at the first school violated all confidentiality and my identity was not protected (which I now know is against federal law).  They made sure sure that my instructors at the second school knew what happened, particularly that it was all my fault.  So, similar problems and conflicts resulted at the second school, including more sexual harassment and backlash.

     The most surreal harasser-stalker was a lesbian psychology department chair who decided my emotional reaction to harassment by men meant that I am a “repressed lesbian,” and she was going to “help” me through this personally. She made a pass at me in class, and was telling people I’m a lesbian, which I‘m not. She contacted people–friends, former teachers, former employers, family members, doctors–to gather details about my work and personal life, my sex life, sex partners, and sexual experiences.  She was telling people that I’ve been lying about the extent of the sexual harassment and stalking, and that I’ve made it all up to get attention. She began stalking me on the Internet, and used her position, and lots of lies, to obtain access to confidential records she had no legal right to see. 

     Everyone places blind faith in anyone with a title.

     There were problems with other profs at the 2nd school.  Immediately– without even knowing me–my own advisor was blaming me for what happened at the earlier school, and constantly attacked my character behind my back. He called me an “Eddie Haskell,” someone who is always trying to stir up trouble.  Another professor was angry at my lack of attention towards him.  He even stomped out of the classroom one day because of it.  Another was openly hostile, and was ridiculing me outside of class to other students and faculty. Other professors came into my classes, or loitered outside the doors, to “get a look at her.”

     Because of traumatic stress symptoms, my grades plummeted and I began missing classes. 

     I did not dare report what was happening at the 2nd school because I was already being targeted there because of what happened at the 1st school.  Throughout, my appearance, character, and personal life have been scrutinized and attacked.  No one wanted the whole truth.  There has been much denial over the effects of the harassment and backlash, and some were saying that I was using the situation to hide that I’m a trouble-maker, and am incompetent and stupid, even though I was making straight A’s before it all happened and have a cum laude BA from Mount Holyoke. (I heard some were saying I must have cheated my way through.)

     I also suffered professionally and financially as the traumatic stress symptoms caused my work performance to suffer to such an extent that I had to leave my job. There was much hostility from my former supervisors and colleagues over this–most are Houston academic people–and I’ve have lost all of my recent references.  (They don’t care why I had to leave, just that I did.) Many of them had been longtime friends, too.  With no income, I have had to live off of my retirement savings, which is almost gone.

     I did finally report the lesbian stalker,  and she was reprimanded.  Yet it just seemed to make her angrier, and the stalking has continued.  Now her focus seems to be revenge for her being rejected and having her behavior exposed.  She vowed that, if I applied to another graduate program, she would see that I was rejected, and began contacting any program she thought I might apply to.     

     All I really want is to get well again, and move on. Once very adventurous, I have rarely left my home in over a year, and I know I will never be able to regain my faith or trust in people, particularly in authority.  Ultimately, I know I need to get back to school, but don’t know if I will ever feel safe there again. It’s like they have stolen both my present and my future. I just don’t know what is going to happen now.

Update 2008: The Stalking Escalates and Goes Technical

     After years of harassment by the lesbian psycho, the university finally took some action and demoted her (she had been department chair!) and sent her on a leave of absence.  But she just cyberstalked me the entire time she was gone.  Plus, it did nothing to repair the damage she has done.

     The person they replaced her with was my former advisor who has proven to be an even bigger coward than his predecessor.  Truly, this man is a sociopath.

     He partnered with one of the professors from the first university–one who lost his job because of what they did to me, and who is a telecommunications expert.  Together, they have taken the stalking to an entirely new level, including repeated break-ins into my home, hacking my computer, identity theft, watching my home and watching me through my windows.

     By far the worst is their installing something like a “hookswitch bypass” on my phones so they can use them as bugs.  These aren’t just devices for phone tapping.  With these, all they have to do is call your phone number and the phone becomes a bug.   They even installed one of these on the phone in my bedroom!  What is more, they have been passing my phone number to other men so they can join in on the stalking!!  It was an electronic kidnapping.

     I figured out about the in-home surveillance long before I figured out how they were doing it.  I endured a nightmare as I was forced to live with these men for close to a year until I found out how it was happening and disconnected the phones.  (This is a story in itself, and there is not enough space for it here.)

      They have continued the lies, working hard to deflect responsibility away from themselves regarding the damage they have done to me and to my life.  They have rationalized that I need to be under surveillance, and that all this is for my own “good,” and meant to help me.  But this is the rationale for most stalking. In truth, it is pure misogyny and a continuation of the victim-blame and retaliation for an harassment situation years ago that I never even reported.

     And yes, the leadership at the university knows all about this, and knows it is all true.  As usual,  they are dealing with the situation by ignoring it.  They seem to believe that having “Dr.” in front of your name places a person above the law. 

     The destruction to my life by these people has been total.  The health effects have devastated the quality of my life.  The slander has destroyed my reputation and most all my relationships. The rest has been destroyed by the stigma of being stalked. (Many people seem to view  a stalking victim is a weakling who ALLOWED/CAUSED it all to happen to them, and they distance themselves.) 

     I swear that all of this is 100% true.  I’ve taken the matter to the police and have filed police reports on all these people.   I’ll update again when I can.