Let me start with I am 1 of 5 female employees at a painting company. The company is owned by two men. I will call them Bevis and Butthead. Bevis is the president of the company and also the father of my boyfriend (of the last 9+years).   Butthead is the HR man, in charge of running the jobs.
     About two years ago,  Butthead thought it would be funny to show me his “manhood” at work.  I reported him to Bevis and Bevis asked all my coworkers about the harassment (THAT WAS NOT FUN).  Then Butthead cut my overtime for a few months.
     Nine months later my boyfriend and I split up for a few weeks, and my boyfriend’s father Bevis decided to put me under the direct supervision of Butthead on one of the road crews as a way of forcing me to quit.
     Butthead started telling me my boyfriend and his father were trying to fire me or force me to quit, he told me that he was the only one who could save my job.  “Keep your head down and you mouth shut” was what he said as he flashed me his manhood in the parking lot of the “WOMANS SHELTER” we were painting at the time.  Then he began sending me sexual emails and flashed me again.
     I told my boyfriend what was going on and he didn’t believe me so I showed him the emails.  Then my boyfriend wanted to tell his father Bevis. I stopped him because I had just purchased a home about the time the harassment started and I was afraid to loose my job, my home, my children.
     The harassment turned into threats, then demands.
     I reported Butthead to Bevis and gave Bevis all the emails. Bevis told me it wasn’t enough and sent me back out to work for Butthead. I reported Butthead almost daily until I was allowed to work back in the shop where there were more people around, but the flashing, emails, and threats did NOT stop.
     I continued to give my other boss and my supervisor the emails and report Butthead. Each time I was told that I didn’t have enough proof, so I had the email IP address traced back to Buttheads personal password protected work computer.  Still NOTHING WAS DONE.  Bevis told me he would try to be around the shop more and try to catch Butthead in the act.
     I ordered video pens on the net and started wearing them on my shirt at work I caught Butthead on video at work shaking his johnson at me and “stroking him manhood.”
     I reported him again but I didn’t yet tell Bevis about the video.   I begged Bevis to put a stop to the sexual harassment I had been forced to endure for almost 6 months.  I gave him a copy of 4 more sexual emails from Butthead, and again was told “It isn’t enough proof.  He could say those emails aren’t from him. I need hard evidence.”
     Well I took my “HARD EVIDENCE” aka the videos of Butthead to a local attorney. I didn’t file anything yet. I just talked to him about my rights. I didn’t want to destroy Buttheads life, marriage, company family etc.  That’s right, I was that stupid. I was actually worried about him and his life.  I took the video’s of Butthead to Bevis the next day and told him that I had an attorney. I told Bevis that if he didn’t make it stop I was going to file a law suit.
     To make a long story short, I had to file with the EEOC, and in that time my boyfriend was fired, I was treated like dirt at work, hours cut, denied work, swore at, threatened, put down, had other coworkers make sexual comments at me.  Bevis called people I haven’t worked with in over five years trying to dig up dirt on me.  He also started to listen in on all my phone calls at work.  I  am currently “LAID OFF” and that’s the short version!!!
     I filed a law suit 4 months ago. I don’t even have hope of a court date yet.
     I can tell you first hand if you report harassment, YOUR FRIENDS AT WORK WILL TURN ON YOU. YOU WILL BE LEFT OUT OF THE LOOP. YOU WILL BE DEMOTED, LAID OFF, FIRED, OR DENIED A RAISE. SOME OF YOUR REAL FRIENDS WILL BE DEMOTED FIRED OR LAID OFF. EVERYTHING YOU EVER DID, SAID OR WORE WILL BE TALKED ABOUT. YOU WILL FEEL NAKED, ALONE, AND ABUSED!!! AND THEY CAN TREAT YOU LIKE THIS EVERY DAY UNTIL THE TRIAL IS OVER.
     Just remember THERE ARE NO LAWS THAT PROTECT YOU!! Only laws to get you a little something for your pain after the fact!!! Yes you can report it to your lawyer and the EEOC, and if you win you might get some money.
     I want to say I did the right thing by standing up for my rights, but because I have two daughters I won’t be able to say that until I get something done about the laws or LACK OF LAWS….. I WILL write letters, call elected officials, call news stations. Heck I’ll send out fliers post it on the net, call everyone in the phone book. I hope YOU do what you can too.  BE LOUD!! STAND UP.

     I was 22. Two weeks into my new job in state government there was a work event with an open bar. My married 34 year old boss offered to drive me and another girl so we could drink a little. I unfortunately got wasted. After dropping the other girl off, he took me home back asked to use the bathroom. We sat and talked for a little. He then unexpectedly made a move. I was so drunk I let him then realized what was going on and told him to go home. The next day at work he was so cavalier about the whole thing, calling it “awesome.”
     I was so confused. He was the supervisor with a wife. I had been in an abusive relationship for most of college so I was used to trying to please someone else and used to being manipulated to stay. I also craved someone to want me. He was very good at making me feel special and saying we had a “connection.” We began an affair that lasted four months. Feelings grew.
     I finally got out of it by starting to date someone else and he was furious. The retaliation started slow but kept escalating. He made rules that applied only to me, like I wasn’t allowed to close my office door despite others under him being allowed. My work prior to the affair ending was well liked. All of a sudden, he began telling people that my work was horrible and that I lied in my interview. He also would scream obscenities at me, always at the end of the day of course when most people have left. He would humiliate me in front of others constantly. Anytime I would get upset and ask him why he was acting this way, he would flip and go tell the office manager that I was insubordinate.
     Finally, after five months of him almost daily bringing me to tears from his cruelty, he called me into his office to tell me that it doesn’t matter what I do because I wasn’t going to stay there, and “as a friend, I’m telling you that you need to find another job.”
     I put in my two weeks notice two days later. My last day it got around that he and I had an affair. The office manager asked and I broke down and told him everything.
     After numerous meetings with him and a few with the elected official I was working for, I was told that supervisor would not be fired and they “handled” it. He got barely a slap on the wrist–no raise for three years. I was tormented and force out of a job I liked and he can’t get a raise for his already well paid salary.
     Did I mention that my boss’ mother was the political official’s personal assistant? Yep. Hmmm… Not hard to see why nothing happened to him. I have been so angry about what happened to me. The political official was such a jerk about it too, sticking by his decision to keep my boss and blasting me for disagreeing. This is why I don’t trust elected officials. I recently found out that this official is running for a much higher office. My boss will still be the press secretary for him if he wins.
     I was told that recently my boss was harassing another employee (not sexually, just making her life miserable with making things up, exploding at her, etc.) He didn’t learn anything. He will do it again. I don’t wish him on anyone.
     I also recently found out that around the same time that I was forced to leave another employee was accused of sexual harassment. They said he was “oogling” the girls where he worked. There was no proof, no corroboration from anyone else. Still, he was promptly asked to resign or he would be fired. He resigned. So this guy who wasn’t politically connected through his mom like my boss was promptly let go for allegations of staring. My boss had an affair with a subordinate, then harassed her for months, tried to ruin her professionally by lying about her work product and I had proof of the affair. He supposedly even admitted it. Yet he gets to keep his job.
     I want to do something about this. I don’t know what though. Go to the media? File a lawsuit? Go to the state civil service board? Or just accept that sometimes the bad guys win? What should I do?

     I was so excited about my new position! I was to be Assistant Principal Operations at a prestigious High School in New York City; right off the east side highway. I started working there in Aug 2008. Having ten years experience as a teacher and advanced degrees in educational administration; I was prepared to tackle my new found responsibility.
     My supervisor was also eager to support me. He even hired a mentor to assist me to ensure that my work was flawless. The school year started and everything seemed to be going well. Despite the staff not being so supportive of a new young African American being their supervisor, nothing else seemed to prevent me from becoming successful; at least that’s what my principal told me. He would say, “Don’t worry Faith, I have your back, you can’t do no wrong, so what if they attack your work, they are just racist and you will win them over”
      On October 15, 2008, I had to prepare the school for the PSAT exam. Preparation included scheduling assignments for teachers and students. The day was very hectic and at the end of the day there was a leadership meeting that took place until about 7:30pm. During the meeting, my boss passed me a note saying that I looked tired and asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat afterward to discuss the events of the day; I nonchalantly agreed.
     We went to a restaurant and started to discuss work issues, then all of a sudden he began to rub my hand. I pulled away feeling totally awkward. He tried to convince me to have another drink and I declined. Instead, told him I was ready to leave. The restaurant was about a block and a half away from the school, but unfortunately we drove in his car. We got up to leave and I got in his car (stupid) as we proceeded to drive back my boss said that he forgot something in his office and wanted me to go with him inside to get it. My car was back at the school but I was too afraid to say no. I went with him…
     When we got into the office he started to say that he was very attracted to me and that he wanted to be with me. He grabbed me from behind. I wrestled with him and begged him to stop. Luckily one of the custodians was there and knocked on the door. My boss screamed out saying he was heading out in a few. We snuck out the building.
     When I got home, I couldn’t sleep. I cried and decided not to go in the next day. What was I to do? I was in a bad situation…. Why? My C-30 was occurring in 4 days. (A C-30 is a formal interview that “seals the deal.”) I would become appointed and gives me union protection. At this point I was an Interim Acting Assistant Principal and I could be dismissed at any time.
     I went in the next day- a Friday, the day before my birthday and I said to myself over and over again that I was going to speak to my boss about what occurred and let him know that it was unprofessional, disrespectful and that I didn’t want it to happen again. That afternoon he called me in his office. When I entered, selective staff members were there with him, with a cake singing happy birthday. Unbelievable!
I guess everything was just suppose to go away because he got me a birthday cake?
     Over the weekend I built myself up again to confront him, but in a respectful tone, my C-30 was Tuesday and I didn’t want to risk loosing my job.
     I went in and requested a meeting with him. I told him exactly how I felt and he seemed to be very apologetic. He said it would never happen again. My C-30 came and I was appointed.
     Fast forward to May 2009 he began to become very aggressive with his sexual needs. He started to tell me that he wanted to be with me and that he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
     I already shared my story with a colleague in November, who too was also recently hired as an Assistant Principal Science and she said he had done the same thing to her. She and I made a pack to stick together to avoid being alone with him.
     As the year came to an end his advances became more blatant. I decided to record him, so I purchased a voice recording device. Why? Its all politics, my boss is GREAT friends with his boss and I needed proof.
     By Aug 2009 I felt like I had enough evidence to go to Human Resources and I did. After reporting him I was retaliated against: scratches to my vehicle, racist crank calls. Recently, I was fired for false allegations of insubordination. Later, I found out that everything I reported was leaked.
     I went to the NYC Commission on Human Rights and I have a private lawyer handling my case and in the end I know I will be vindicated.

     I joined a global, primarily male dominated electronics company 3 years ago.  My intention was to continue my career in a productive way with a global company in whom opportunities were plentiful for seasoned executives who delivered/exceeded expectations. To my great misfortune, I reported to what can only be described as a deeply insecure executive threatened by my knowledge and experience. 

     Things at were great at first – my VP to whom I reported was delighted with my findings and action plans to repair our brand’s relationship with our consumers post purchase. 

     However, after a few months,  I scheduled an appointment with my VP to review remaining year plans.  Immediately upon entering his office he asked me “How old are you?” in an accusatory, angry tone.  I responded “47 why?” to which he responded “Goddammit – if I’d known you were that old I never would have hired you.” The meeting deteriorated from there where I was berated, belittled and told I needed to prove my worth to the company.

     Shaken, I left the office confused and bewildered, particularly after being told only a few weeks prior that I was acknowledged as the best hire of 2006.

     From that moment forward, this same VP embarked on a full-on attack of sexual harassment. In front of male IBM vendor contacts at a team event, the VP announced “Hey Mary – we have a great idea for you. We think you should wear low cut jeans, a thong and get a snake tattoo down your butt with the tale sticking out of the top of your thong.” All the men were laughing in a taunting way.

     I felt mortified, objectified and embarrassed.

     These vendors were those I had to manage for performance improvement. This objectification made it nearly impossible.

     In another meeting with more vendor contacts, this same VP said “I have a special video Mary will like.”   He proceeded to pull up a YouTube video on the overhead showing a zealous school marching band drummer who in fact appeared to be masturbating.  He played the video over and over again repeating “This is for Mary.” The vendors in the room looked at me with empathy and the VP responded “I guess this is an HR issue but they expect this from me so it’s no issue.”

     The objectification continued – when I would make presentations, this VP would first comment on my looks, good or bad, make old jokes, etc.

     Finally in August I confronted him with it, advising it made me uncomfortable and could he please curb the behavior. This was in a one-on-one. He apologized – seemingly sincerely – and indicated he would be more cognizant.

     The very next day, he was announced he’d purchased me a gift, a small paperweight shaped like a construction cone with the word “bitch” written on it.

     Two weeks later, he had arranged a meeting with me and HR, claiming a vendor had complained about me and that she would quit if I continued my behavior. I was stunned as this vendor and I had become friends.   I went to the vendor employee and she was stunned as well saying she had no idea what I was talking about.  I reported back to the VP and he said “well you know she is a liar and I’m telling you this happened.” This is when I knew he’d retaliated against me and I needed to be very careful going forward.

     Many instances of public berating, calling me a liar, idiot, undermining me. In another team event, in his drunken stupor, he grabbed my hand – again in front of male employees – and put it on his penis. He lead a public chorus of boos when I was presented an award by a colleague (in good fun) and I left the party depressed, humiliated, confused, isolated and unclear where to go.

     In spite of all this, based on my performance, the General Manager over Global Service asked if I would come to Europe and help with the service organization. I had a good relationship with this gentleman and saw this as my opportunity to extricate myself from the US VP, expand my experience and regain my professional footing.

     I accepted the opportunity but oddly the details were very slow in coming. The harasser kept telling me “It’s because you’re too old and corporate doesn’t want to invest in you.”

     Finally, I was provided the job offer (after 6 months from time it was offered to me) and I moved to Europe. Within 1 month, the harasser was announced as replacement of General Manager and I would again be reporting to him here in Europe.

     I was devastated.

     The harassment escalated in Europe – barging in on meetings with male colleagues where I was the only woman “What’s up – Mary giving everyone blow jobs?” On and on – I documented everything.

     I spoke with him again but his response now was “Hey – we’re in Europe now. All bets are off.” Turns out he was right.

     He moved into an apt. across the canal from me and made it clear he watched me.  And he was right – he was able to recount my comings and goings in one weekend which ultimately made me finally put my foot down and go to HR.

     Devastated, I provided HR my rolling document of harassment, ageism and hostile work environment asking to be sent home and paid through end of my contract.  They were slow to respond, but after I engaged an attorney, the company conducted a soft investigation and everything I’d reported was corroborated by witnesses.  They offered me a sizable settlement by Dutch employment standards which my attorney acknowledges is as good as an admission of guilt.  A condition of the settlement was that I remain silent on the topic. 

     I decided not to accept the settlement.  In these 6 months, I learned there had been numerous complaints in the US against this VP and thus I cannot remain silent on this issue, particularly when during these 6 months I’ve learned the extent of this problem in cross industries.

     Just today – 6.5 months after my first call for help, while I remain employed I have been stripped of my responsibilities and have learned just this morning my international insurance policy has been cancelled.  It is true – the harassment was bad enough over the years.  But the retaliation, lack of process and genuine empathy has almost been worse. 

     I agree it’s time to stand up….I cannot be embittered but rather empowered by this.  The time is approaching for women to pave the way for the next generation…!  We are here for each other and women have enormous spending power. We can influence Brand behavior by exorcising our power, staying strong together and helping human beings recognize human frailties exist at all levels of management, result in different behaviors (in ourselves and even harassers) and stay focused on positive change for the betterment of those who follow behind us.

     I deeply appreciate this site.

     This happened 10 years ago but it still affects me.
     In junior high (grade 7-9) I was sexually harassed because I answered a question. I was happy and confident and liked to answer questions if I could in school. I made sure no one else wanted to answer first and then I would try.
     A popular boy in my class must have hated me because of this.  One day, he went to the board during class to write out an answer and instead wrote that I was in love with him and wanted to have sex with him.
     Needless to say, I was embarrassed but went up and erased the message.
     Then he began sitting behind me in class and started to whisper sexual scenarios to me.  Then he would slide his hand up my leg, blow in my ear, and whisper during class.
     I told him repeatedly to Stop! Go Away! Leave me alone!and still he continued.
     I started to react more violently.  He sat on my desk one day and I shoved him to the floor.  I would slap away his hand if he touched me.
     The worst part was teachers saw this and never said anything or did anything to help.
     I finally decided to report him.  At this same time, another boy seemed to like me. The first one found out and he picked him up by his shirt collar and told him “I’ll get you if you talk to her again”.
     I ran all the way back to class and from then on did nothing to stop it.  I never reported him.  I was too scared I would be hurt if I did.
     All of these years later it still bothers me and has affected my relationships.  I am anxious and nervous all of the time and rarely trust people.  I often avoid people and situations that remind me of that school.  I tell myself it is silly to still be bothered by this incident and find it hard to seek help.  I just wish I could be free from all of this.

     It was my freshman year of high school that I was taking a science class with a “notoriously perverted” teacher, or so I’d been warned by peers.  Regardless, I needed the credit, and at a small high school, he was the only educator teaching the class.
     He proved to be overly casual for a teacher, that I noticed immediately.   And he would touch the girl’s backs, and look down our shirts.
     Once, he singled me out because of a skirt I was wearing. It was warm outside, and though my skirt had been short, it in no way broke school dress code.
     As everyone passed their papers to the front, he said to me “Bring that up here.”
     Confused, I asked “Why?” since everyone else in the class had passed theirs along the rows.
     All he responded was “I just want to see you do it.”
     So I obliged, walking to the front of the room to hand in the paper.
     As I walked, he watched my legs.  When I went back to my seat, he watched my butt the whole way, as reported by another student.
     Later, a girl reported him after he rubbed her back.  She was then transferred into a lower science class, and nothing was done to the teacher.

     I worked in an environment of approximately eighty people on my shift/department.  During this time, I was repeatedly subjected to lewd jokes, sexual comments and gestures, physical contact, all of it unwelcome and disgusting. There was five men doing this to me.
     I was one of three women, the other two married with husbands in the same department. My guess is being the only single woman is why I was singled out for this torment.
     After six months of this BS I finally complained to my supervisor, crying.  He told me it would be taken care of on Monday(this was a Friday).  So extremely upset I left for the weekend after the supervisor told me we would all sit down and discuss the situation on Monday.
     When I got to work that Monday, about half the men on my shift were conveying horrible looks at me.  It got worse over the next few weeks. I was spit at and had cigarette butts thrown at me. This went on for about three weeks.
     I had to see a doctor for meds for severe anxiety/depression. My blood pressure was high.   I lost a lot of weight.  My hair was falling out.  I had trouble sleeping at night, and when I did sleep I had nightmares.  Anytime I had to think about going to work I would shake uncontrollably.I felt like killing myself.
     I don’t know how I lived through all of it.  No self respecting individual should have to tolerate that type of behavior.  That’s when I knew I would have to complain to EEOC to exercise my rights.  My case is now pending with, of course, the harassers denying everything.

     I worked as a night manager for a store owned largely by my sister and her husband.  They owned 90% of the business, and the husband’s parents own the other 10%.  However, the parents have 100% governing rights over the business, so they had full say over what was done and not done.

     In February of 2007 my sister and I flew out to see her husband participate in a car race.  The store was one of the sponsors, and we met up with her husband, his dad, and their friend as they had driven there.

     We were at a bar the first night and that’s when my sister’s father-in-law started to sexually harass me.  He would touch me and ignore my glares and no’s.  He would continue to try to grope and I continued to remove his hands.  Throughout our 4 day stay he continued his advances.  He stood outside my hotel door, trying repeatedly to get in.  He spent those 4 days trying and saying whatever he could to get me to have sex with him: my fiance is a loser,  he wanted to take care of me, he has all the power in the town we lived in….   

     I kept myself as protected I could.  At one point I hid in the closet as I frantically sent text messages to my sister, asking her to please come help me.

     My sister told her husband what his father was doing.  But he did not believe it and from then on, both he and his father treated me like garbage.  When we got back to work, they tried to cut my hours, tried to cut my pay, tried to make me work alone.  Then they began to slander me.  They told people I was a slut sleeping around, and that I was a drug addict who never took care of her kids.  They even began to spread it around that I had embezzled a hundred thousand dollars from the store. 

     My sister kept telling her husband that he could not do that and that it was against the law to treat me that way.  She told  her husband that if he fired me she would just rehire me.  

     That continued back and forth until the father-in-law made my sister sign some sort of document taking away all of her rights to manage her own business.  That’s the day they fired me.  On that same day, they took away her power in the store, and changed the locks to the store, office and safe.  So, they fired my sister, too. 

     My sister has since divorced her husband but he still makes her pay for supporting me.  It’s just one more thing I feel bad about. 

     I filed a complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.  After over a year of investigating, they found probable cause for wrongful termination, sexual harassment, and reprisal.  I have since released my charge through the state of Minnesota and filed a lawsuit, only to be counter-sued by them for theft of more than fifty thousand dollars. 

     We are now moving into the deposition phase. I can’t even put into words what all of this has done to my life. The rumors they have spread about me. And his lawyer requesting my entire medical history….

     I just want to scream.  I didn’t do anything wrong.   I have lost everything, my house, car, belongings.  Most of all I have lost me in all of this.  I feel crazy and scared all the time.  I feel broken and lost.  I will continue to fight the best I can because I refuse to let this happen to another person.  I could write forever on the things that were done and said but this is the short version.

     I work for an oil company.  I had a customer that kept coming into my workplace for about a year.  He kept saying the most sexually explicit things to me and would come to my work and harass me for hours.  One day he spread my legs apart while saying these really sexually explicit comments. 

     I went to my manager about it and and he replied, “It sales oil.”  

      After I told my manger, this kept up for 9 more months until I contacted the EEOC.  I went to my Manager a total of 3 more times!  He said nothing to this man until he had found out I contacted the EEOC.  It has created a very uneasy working enviroment!

     Then  the VP and owner found out, and it just got worse because my manager lied to them and said he had never witnessed it himself, which he had.

     The investigation is still going on and the EEOC is making a visit tomorrow to my place of employment.   It turns out  the man who harassed me was actually brought up on sexual harassment charges with the company that he worked for.

     The owner has been really ugly to me and even stated that I was “costing him money that wasn’t necessary”.  

     It’s really hard to come to work everyday knowing that they have pretty much sided with the harasser.  I would love to just walk out and forget about the insensitive bastards cause all I am to them is an Office Manager that got what I deserved.  But I am a single mom who has to have a steady income for my little girl as well as myself. 

     It has damaged me so bad that all I do is vomit and I no longer sleep.  It has made me hate my job and hate the people I work with and for everytime I get my paycheck I get filled with anger and hate!  It has stolen my once happy life and has made me a bitter hateful person that I no longer recognize.  I do not know what the end result will be for I fear it will be in their favor.

     I used to work at a construction site until I was fired for rejecting a supervisor who wanted to go out with me.
     When I first started working at the construction firm, there was this man that kept asking me out and I kept saying “No.”     
     He seemed to stop and I thought everything was okay.   Boy was I wrong!
     As time went on he had got promoted and that’s when it started happening again.  He would constantly ask me out and I would keep saying “No.” 
     Eventually, I reported him to the supervisor above him.  But the supervisor did not do anything about it.
     Well as time went on, they sent me to another work area because I was a fire watch and it’s part of my job to rotate around the work site. 
     One day, the man who has been harassing me came to my work area and saw me using a make-up compact.   He didn’t come up close to check what it really was in my hand.  Instead, he just reported me, saying it was a cell phone.  (They have a no cell phone policy there. )  He told the HEAD supervisor and they fired me.
     I have called the construction site hot line and it sounds like they are not doing anything about it.  They did not even investigate the whole cell phone thing.  They just fired me cause he said so.  I am having to go through a lot to TRY and get my job back.