Let me start with I am 1 of 5 female employees at a painting company. The company is owned by two men. I will call them Bevis and Butthead. Bevis is the president of the company and also the father of my boyfriend (of the last 9+years).   Butthead is the HR man, in charge of running the jobs.
     About two years ago,  Butthead thought it would be funny to show me his “manhood” at work.  I reported him to Bevis and Bevis asked all my coworkers about the harassment (THAT WAS NOT FUN).  Then Butthead cut my overtime for a few months.
     Nine months later my boyfriend and I split up for a few weeks, and my boyfriend’s father Bevis decided to put me under the direct supervision of Butthead on one of the road crews as a way of forcing me to quit.
     Butthead started telling me my boyfriend and his father were trying to fire me or force me to quit, he told me that he was the only one who could save my job.  “Keep your head down and you mouth shut” was what he said as he flashed me his manhood in the parking lot of the “WOMANS SHELTER” we were painting at the time.  Then he began sending me sexual emails and flashed me again.
     I told my boyfriend what was going on and he didn’t believe me so I showed him the emails.  Then my boyfriend wanted to tell his father Bevis. I stopped him because I had just purchased a home about the time the harassment started and I was afraid to loose my job, my home, my children.
     The harassment turned into threats, then demands.
     I reported Butthead to Bevis and gave Bevis all the emails. Bevis told me it wasn’t enough and sent me back out to work for Butthead. I reported Butthead almost daily until I was allowed to work back in the shop where there were more people around, but the flashing, emails, and threats did NOT stop.
     I continued to give my other boss and my supervisor the emails and report Butthead. Each time I was told that I didn’t have enough proof, so I had the email IP address traced back to Buttheads personal password protected work computer.  Still NOTHING WAS DONE.  Bevis told me he would try to be around the shop more and try to catch Butthead in the act.
     I ordered video pens on the net and started wearing them on my shirt at work I caught Butthead on video at work shaking his johnson at me and “stroking him manhood.”
     I reported him again but I didn’t yet tell Bevis about the video.   I begged Bevis to put a stop to the sexual harassment I had been forced to endure for almost 6 months.  I gave him a copy of 4 more sexual emails from Butthead, and again was told “It isn’t enough proof.  He could say those emails aren’t from him. I need hard evidence.”
     Well I took my “HARD EVIDENCE” aka the videos of Butthead to a local attorney. I didn’t file anything yet. I just talked to him about my rights. I didn’t want to destroy Buttheads life, marriage, company family etc.  That’s right, I was that stupid. I was actually worried about him and his life.  I took the video’s of Butthead to Bevis the next day and told him that I had an attorney. I told Bevis that if he didn’t make it stop I was going to file a law suit.
     To make a long story short, I had to file with the EEOC, and in that time my boyfriend was fired, I was treated like dirt at work, hours cut, denied work, swore at, threatened, put down, had other coworkers make sexual comments at me.  Bevis called people I haven’t worked with in over five years trying to dig up dirt on me.  He also started to listen in on all my phone calls at work.  I  am currently “LAID OFF” and that’s the short version!!!
     I filed a law suit 4 months ago. I don’t even have hope of a court date yet.
     I can tell you first hand if you report harassment, YOUR FRIENDS AT WORK WILL TURN ON YOU. YOU WILL BE LEFT OUT OF THE LOOP. YOU WILL BE DEMOTED, LAID OFF, FIRED, OR DENIED A RAISE. SOME OF YOUR REAL FRIENDS WILL BE DEMOTED FIRED OR LAID OFF. EVERYTHING YOU EVER DID, SAID OR WORE WILL BE TALKED ABOUT. YOU WILL FEEL NAKED, ALONE, AND ABUSED!!! AND THEY CAN TREAT YOU LIKE THIS EVERY DAY UNTIL THE TRIAL IS OVER.
     Just remember THERE ARE NO LAWS THAT PROTECT YOU!! Only laws to get you a little something for your pain after the fact!!! Yes you can report it to your lawyer and the EEOC, and if you win you might get some money.
     I want to say I did the right thing by standing up for my rights, but because I have two daughters I won’t be able to say that until I get something done about the laws or LACK OF LAWS….. I WILL write letters, call elected officials, call news stations. Heck I’ll send out fliers post it on the net, call everyone in the phone book. I hope YOU do what you can too.  BE LOUD!! STAND UP.

     I worked as a night manager for a store owned largely by my sister and her husband.  They owned 90% of the business, and the husband’s parents own the other 10%.  However, the parents have 100% governing rights over the business, so they had full say over what was done and not done.

     In February of 2007 my sister and I flew out to see her husband participate in a car race.  The store was one of the sponsors, and we met up with her husband, his dad, and their friend as they had driven there.

     We were at a bar the first night and that’s when my sister’s father-in-law started to sexually harass me.  He would touch me and ignore my glares and no’s.  He would continue to try to grope and I continued to remove his hands.  Throughout our 4 day stay he continued his advances.  He stood outside my hotel door, trying repeatedly to get in.  He spent those 4 days trying and saying whatever he could to get me to have sex with him: my fiance is a loser,  he wanted to take care of me, he has all the power in the town we lived in….   

     I kept myself as protected I could.  At one point I hid in the closet as I frantically sent text messages to my sister, asking her to please come help me.

     My sister told her husband what his father was doing.  But he did not believe it and from then on, both he and his father treated me like garbage.  When we got back to work, they tried to cut my hours, tried to cut my pay, tried to make me work alone.  Then they began to slander me.  They told people I was a slut sleeping around, and that I was a drug addict who never took care of her kids.  They even began to spread it around that I had embezzled a hundred thousand dollars from the store. 

     My sister kept telling her husband that he could not do that and that it was against the law to treat me that way.  She told  her husband that if he fired me she would just rehire me.  

     That continued back and forth until the father-in-law made my sister sign some sort of document taking away all of her rights to manage her own business.  That’s the day they fired me.  On that same day, they took away her power in the store, and changed the locks to the store, office and safe.  So, they fired my sister, too. 

     My sister has since divorced her husband but he still makes her pay for supporting me.  It’s just one more thing I feel bad about. 

     I filed a complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.  After over a year of investigating, they found probable cause for wrongful termination, sexual harassment, and reprisal.  I have since released my charge through the state of Minnesota and filed a lawsuit, only to be counter-sued by them for theft of more than fifty thousand dollars. 

     We are now moving into the deposition phase. I can’t even put into words what all of this has done to my life. The rumors they have spread about me. And his lawyer requesting my entire medical history….

     I just want to scream.  I didn’t do anything wrong.   I have lost everything, my house, car, belongings.  Most of all I have lost me in all of this.  I feel crazy and scared all the time.  I feel broken and lost.  I will continue to fight the best I can because I refuse to let this happen to another person.  I could write forever on the things that were done and said but this is the short version.

     This past year was my first year in high school.  Admittedly I was very nervous about it due to the fact I am a very quiet girl with a few good friends.

     Now I’m not quite sure when I started to notice that this boy (whom is 3 years older than myself) was watching me a lot. After a couple of weeks he had found out my E-mail and Cell phone number and was always trying to be in contact with me, and was asking about where I was going and with who. It continued to the point where he left messages playing love songs on my phone, or him saying how depressed he was when he didn’t see my face. I started to really freak out when he started to show up at the places where I was (even my doctor’s appointments).

     I was told by my friend that I am too nice because I hadn’t told the guy how much he was scaring me with his questions, and I never told him to go away.  Finally I worked up the nerve to tell him I wasn’t interested after he snuck up behind me when I was on my way to the bus, picked me up and started to carry me away! (Boy was I happy my two friends were there).

     But he didn’t listen, and he tried to be close to me whenever he could in school. He even dated the girl with the locker next to mine! He left notes in my locker saying he missed talking to me and was always sitting near me or trying to touch my arm.

     I got mad and told him to “Get lost!” again.

     The very next day I was sent to the hospital due to the fact that in gym class he hit my face with a soccer ball, resulting in a concussion.  He told people it was my fault.  But after that, everyone in school saw what was going on and helped me to stand up to him (the teachers were close to useless without proof).

     Over the next few months there has been little to no contact between us. But last week I got an email from him saying again how much he misses me and how sorry he is. His friends also sent me emails saying the same thing (they had done so in the past, urging me to go out with him as well).     

     With the new school year approaching, I’m wondering if he will ever go away.

     My science teacher is 20 and I am 15.  He told me to stay after class one day.  I asked him “What for?” and he said that he wanted to talk to me about something and to sit down.   So I did.

     We started talking about school stuff and then he changes the subject and starts talking about my personal life and asking me questions like “What size bra do you wear?”

     I felt uncomfortable so I tried to change the subject.

     Then he started feeling my thigh.  He said, “You know, you are never to young to have sex.”

     I got up and headed for the door when he grabs me and throws me against the wall.  Then he forces himself on me.  I tried my hardest to get him off but he was too strong.   Then he unzips my jacket and unbuttons my shirt.  I was able to grab a pen from the board, and I stabbed him with it and ran.

     Then a few days later after cheerleading, I was in the locker room alone changing and he comes in there.  I tried to get as far away from him as I could but I tripped over this gym bag and fell but still tried to get away. 

     He came up to me and said that “It’s okay.” Then he put his hand up my skirt.  I tried to get up but he pinned me down and wouldn’t stop kissing me all over.   Then he unbuttoned his pants.

     I kicked him in the stomach and ran out to get help.  But no one believed me because he is such a nice teacher.  So I told my mom and she told the police but he didn’t get fired.  Everyday I wonder what would of happened if I didn’t kick him.  I sometimes cry when I think about it.

     I am a gay man and want to share my story.
     I was a PhD student and everyone said I could be a great professor or something like that. But everything changed when I went to a small European country to conduct fieldwork. (I was an anthropology major, so I had to do some research outside UK.) I needed to work with a particular professor there and he’s gay, but I didn’t think that would affect any aspects of my research or work with him.
     One day he invited me into his house to discuss my research. I went there and he was waiting for me, naked. He started talking about his sex life, and how much he likes to have sex with his students.  He told me how good looking and “cute” I was…Then he asked me to have a dinner at a restaurant with him. I was not comfortable at all but I felt I had to say yes in order to build a professional relation for my research. However, instead, he took me a gay bar, grabbed my hand and forced me to dance with him. I said “No” but he kept touching all over my body and I was completely disgusted.  A couple of days later, he again told me to come to his place to disuss my research. This time, he tried to rape me and I ran away. Later, he showed up at my home and forced me to have sex with him.
    Then he began to retaliate.  He has huge political power in his country and used it to prevent my research everywhere. He had promised me that I could teach at his university, but no. But the worst thing was that I needed his letter to obtain a visa, and he never wrote it. Also, everyone started talking about me, like “He’s your sugar daddy, isn’t he? I am sure you are so good at it and you can do anything in this country.”
     I really wanted to take legal action but never could because in that country almost all sexual harassment cases were dismissed, and there’s no such thing as gay rights there.
     So I reported what he did to my advisers at school and they told me to come back to the UK as my situation was “an extreme emergency.” I came back and talked with them. They gave me a new project to complete my PhD. I needed some rest so I went back to my mother’s house. I read papers and books and wrote a new proposal. But they never responded–there’s a strong connection between my advisers, my school, and this professor.  Instead of helping me, they buried the case.  I called everyone in the department but nothing came out of it. In the end I dropped out of the program.
    I got a very serious depression after the sexual harassment but it got worse after I left the school as it had been my dream to have a PhD and teach. Also since then I can’t form long-term relationships with guys as I am now afraid of men in some way. I also suffered from panic disorder for a while. And I am still traumatized–I can’t read any academic books, meet anyone from the school, I can go on and on regarding the effects this has had on me.
    This sexual harassment happened 2 years ago but I’m still struggling. I hope people will take sexual harassment at school and gay sexual harassment more seriously.

     I am 24 years old and was recently fired from a job that I excelled at, was passionate about, and had been very excited about.  I was an assistant coach of a division 1 athletic team while attending graduate school.  I had been so passionate about this sport my entire life and earned a full athletic scholarship to play this sport in college.  Sports always proved to be the way I could focus my energy (I struggle a great deal with hyperactivity/academics) and channel my emotions.  It is important to understand how much I loved this sport to understand what this man has done to me. 

     From the day I arrived at my job, my boss began asking me about my sex life, making crude jokes, and telling me about his fantasies. 

     This man is around my father’s age and, while recruiting me for the position, came off as a person that would look after me my like a father.  I was extremely confused by his behavior and didn’t know how to handle it.  So I chose to ignore it and to strongly hint that I was not interested in him.

      Obviously that did not work and he did not get the hint, or chose to ignore it, and things got markedly worse.  I constantly received text messages from him outlining his fantasies involving me, asking me to respond and take part in his fantasies.  I very clearly said “No.”  He would constantly plead with me to “at least have phone sex” with him, masturbate for him to watch, or let him listen to me masturbate over the phone. 

     I was repulsed and let him know that I was adamantly opposed to doing this.  I was raised Catholic and have strong Christian faith, so I’m pretty opposed to masturbation.  But I do understand sexuality.  It’s not like I’m naive or a prude. 

     He took my response as a request for him to teach me how to do it and the next few weeks were filled with text messages on the subject of masturbation instructions.

      As filthy and violated as he made me feel, I felt as though he hadn’t done anything that I could make that big of a deal of.  So, again, I ignored it. 

     Then one day he picked me up to go to a practice session with the team.   (We often rode together because we lived in the same apt. complex.)   After I got in the car, I looked over at him and I saw that he was exposed and was stroking himself.  He had a haunting grin on his face and he stared at me with that grin for what seemed like an eternity.  I was speechless and couldn’t find the words to even tell him how inappropriate he had been and how much he had crossed the line.  

     My silence in that car gave him the confidence to try and grab and feel me any chance he had.  I felt so disgusting any time he even looked at me.  The more confident he got in my inability to stick up for myself, the worse his behavior got. 

     He became so obsessed with making me uncomfortable and his obsession turned into stalking.  He entered my apartment while I wasn’t home and would make comments that would make me suspect he had been in my home.  I don’t know for sure, but I believe he came into my apartment while I showered and slept as well.

     I thank God that I’m now back in my hometown and in a safer environment. But unfortunately, I have no sense of security.  I have nightmares every night, if I actually fall asleep.  I’m experiencing severe panic attacks. (I actually begged my mom to take me to the hospital because I truly believed I was having a heart attack one time!)  I’m just not myself.  I always used my sport to help me deal with my emotions, but the thought of playing makes me so anxious and sometimes physically ill.  People tell me not to let him take that from me, but why should I let him win by putting myself in a situation where I know I’ll experience those terrible feelings?

     Sometimes I feel like I’m being a baby about all of this.  I get upset because I’m terrified the majority of the time.  I want to get back to feeling like myself so badly.  Worst of all, I have the most caring, thoughtful, beautiful boyfriend and am having such a hard time with intimacy, both physical and emotional.  He is incredibly patient and sincere and truly cares for me, but I am terrified that I will never be back to normal and will rob him of the happiness he deserves. 
     This website has really been helpful to me and you all know how this feels.  If anyone has advice or comments for me, I will be so grateful.  I have an attorney on my side, but the real hurdle is the psychological damage so many of us suffer.  I pray for everyone on this site and wish you all luck.

     Beginning the first week of employment until the week I resigned, I was repeatedly sexually and verbally harassed by the co-owner of the business where I was working.  (The business is owned by a group of brothers.)  Some incidences were daily while others were once every week to two weeks.

      He has grabbed my vagina, breasts, kissed me, tried to put his hand down my pants and forcefully placed my hand on the outside of his pants touching his penis.  He asked me to go to his home and have intercourse with him stating that he “knew I wanted to have sex with him too,” which was completely false.  He has verbally harassed me in retaliation for not having intercourse with him.  He has stated, “I hate you for not having sex with me.”

     Every time I was assaulted I would tell him to stop but, without hesitation and complete disregard he would continue.

     He has assaulted me while I was working however, he was always “careful” when or how he would assault me.  The incidences always took place when his two other brothers were not present. He would tell me to come into his office either to do office duties or to work on his computer. Once out of the view of the internal surveillance cameras and in his office alone, he would assault me. This had happened on so many different occasions that I began to refuse to go into his office and was terrified the next time he would ask.

   He and his brother both have stated on several different occasions that I am a  “stupid American girl.” They have stated that in their country (Turkey) “women do what they are told and if a man wants to have sex with them they do or else.”

     I began to become so physically and emotionally ill from the harassment.

    Two other employees who had resigned shortly before I did because of similar complaints. One of the other employees informed me that she had resigned shortly before I did as a result of similar harassment issues. She said he “wanted to see sexy pictures of her” and “wanted her to unbutton her blouse so she could look sexy.” She has also stated that he asked her “even though you have a boyfriend, do you still see other men?” She has told me that she felt so uncomfortable going into his office that she would stand in the doorway and refuse to close the door.  There have been both previous and present employees who have shared their stories of sexual harassment with me but, NO ONE HAS MADE A SINGLE COMPLAINT!

     I spoke with two employees who are both representatives of the Employment Commission and an attorney concerning my situation. The two Employment Commission employees both informed me that this was “not the first time they have heard of this type of complaint against the owners” and that “just about every previous employee that worked for the them who came into the Employment Commission complained about similar issues.”  I asked what my options were and was told to “resign, file for unemployment and contact an attorney.”

     In short, I have since resigned after working there only four months.  I have also filed for unemployment, retained an Attorney, filed a Complaint with the EEOC and plan to take this all the way to Court. I am now 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby girl and am absolutely falling apart.

     The employer has now retained an Attorney and is appealing the Employment Commission’s decision granting my benefits. He has also been trying to intimidate both my family and I by following us at public functions. These brothers have been in business for over 6 years.

     I am beyond stressed out about this and feel like giving up sometimes, but I have to be the voice for these young girls and women who are too scared  to do so on their own. This has to stop! I should be enjoying this time in my life and over filled with happiness at the impending delivery of my baby girl but, instead…I’m up to my ears in Attorney’s fee’s, stressed out beyond belief, jobless and scared to death these guys will get away with this and all will be forgotten. I pray to God every day he gives me the strength to continue to fight for what is right.

     He would come into the bar where I worked and tell me he was going to ‘have me raped and cut into tiny pieces.’ He said he would burn down my house whilst I was sleeping in it.  He used to text me up to 100 times a day making threats at me. He would hang round by my home, jump out of doorways at me in public and smashed two of my windows. He also threatened to inject me with a drug-filled or aids-contaminated needle. He would follow me round in public and make slicing motions across his throat as he was looking at me.

     I would start to physically shake whenever I saw this man. 

     I eventually went to the police.  They told me they couldn’t do anything until I reported three separate incidents. Otherwise, it didn’t amount to harassment or stalking.

    He rang me up telling me that one particular night was my last one as he had a gun and was going to shoot me. He was standing outside my home and fired a gun off. 
     Still, the police didn’t take any notice.

     He never physically attacked me. It was always a psychological game to him. The more fear I showed, the worse he would act.

     Nobody believed me when I told them what he was saying. On the outside, he was charming and funny, everybody liked him. He had a lot of friends, nobody would believe what hell he was putting me through.

     Everyday I woke up believing that was going to be the day that I would die because he would kill me. I even contemplated suicide as a way out from that living hell.  But in a logical moment, realised that if I done that, he had won.

     He tried to pay someone £2000 to throw sulphuric acid in my face.

     I went down to the police station in hysterics telling them that if they didn’t act on what I was saying, I would kill him before he could kill me. 

     The police finally began to see what I was up against. They eventually arrested and charged the man with malicious communications, threats to kill and harassment.  But they gave him bail and he fled.  He has not been seen since.

     At that point, I was six months into the stalking.  My nerves where in bits. I couldn’t eat, sleep or function properly and I quite happily could of done 10 years in jail in order to get a peaceful life and not have to face the man. By this point.  I was mentally broken and believing all the horrid things he called me and said about me.  I ended up quitting my job and leaving my home to go to an area where I didn’t know anybody and vice versa.

     Only when he was arrested did people start to believe what I was saying. By then, it was too late.  The psychological damage had been done and I didn’t (and still don’t) trust anybody.  This man put on such a good act that people thought he was decent, they also believed him when he said I was lying.

      I am now age 23, and when I now look back, I realise I was the prime target for him.  I had no family nearby and he knew I didn’t have anyone to help me.  For a long time, I blamed myself for what had happened. I have now realised that at 18, I was naive, he was 29 and should of known better.  To this day, I still live in fear, partly for myself and partly for women he will have met after he fled.

     I get angry when I think about how my life was destroyed but yet he has been able to just get on with his. His behaviour still has an effect on me to this day.  I have a phobia of the dark, I don’t go out after dusk and I’m frightened of new people. 

     On the bright side, I can’t imagine ever going through anything else so terrifying. So I am proud to say that even though I am still affected by what happened, I came through it. I’m a survivor and I know I can now get through anything.

     It saddens me that so many people are in this situation and the law does not take it seriously enough. I urge anyone who is or finds themselves in a similar situation to be persistent with the police, do not give up until they act on your complaint and remember, it is your stalker who is to blame, not you.

     I am 12 years old and am in 7th grade. In one of my classes, I met this guy. He is 2 years older then me, 14. His name is “James.”

     About a year ago, everyday in class, he sits next to me and touches me. EVERYWHERE. I’m not going to go into any specifics, but now I am known all around school as a whore because I let him do it. I don’t know why I dis, but it always happened so fast and I never knew what to do. He followed me after school and tried to kiss me against my will and things like that. I didn’t think that James was terribly bad until about a month ago. I just though, “Boy’s will be boys!”

     In front of the whole class, he stuck his hand down my pants. It was soooo humiliating. I felt so mad. I slapped him and got in so much trouble for it. I got suspended from school! I know that that wasn’t the best way to handle the situation, but I think I did all right. James doesn’t bother me anymore.

     I just started a new job and the supervisor continually makes degrading remarks about fellow workers personal odors, sexual preferences, appearances, working habits.

     He is a total locker room bully and this week alone has asked me if I like little boys, have I ever considered a sex change operation, that I have a nice ass; I even caught him taking photos of me with his camera phone.

     I reported his conduct to upper management. Later, this supervisor confronted me in the warehouse and asked whether I had knowledge of the number of employees out on workman’s comp. He said that I better be careful or I might be next.

     I started bringing a tape recorder to work and have now started a paper trail to upper management of my concern of the safety of the public. This is a major household moving company therefore it extends into the public. His remarks about holding down women are really sick. Upper management has not responded to my complaints.