My son had been sick and was staying with my mother and stepfather for a few days.   When my mother had to go to my great aunt’s funeral, I went to pick up my son though I stayed over for one night.

     When it was time to head to bed, my stepfather carried my son to their bed.  I went and climbed into the guest bed. 

     After I had drifted off to sleep,  I was awoke by my stepfather rubbing the side of my leg/butt.

     He said to me, “Do you want to have a secret?”

     I heard in my mind, “Do you want to have a cigarette?”  Why would I want a cigarette?

     Then he said it again.  “Do you want to have a secret? Do you want to do it?”

     I jump out of bed and went in to check on my son.  He followed and then wanted me to climb into bed with the both of them. 

     I left my son sleeping and went back to my bed, leaving my stepfather the impression that I WAS NOT interested. 

     I didn’t sleep a wink that night, concern about myself and my son.  What do I do? Do I tell my mother?

     I’m 36 years-old.  I didn’t do anything with him.  Yet I am still burdened with a secret.

     I suffer from depression, and I joined an online depression group my friend participated in. 

     I shared my stories on online posts, and a guy decided to befriend me.  He was studying counseling at a Christian school.  I didn’t count on him being of any professional help, but I decided there was no harm in being his friend.

     I made a post on my online journal about some problems I was having, and he requested my phone number.  Like an idiot I gave it to him, not thinking there was any harm. 

      He started to call me every single day, even when I told him it was beginning to be a bit too much and I wanted him to stop, but he never did.

       He continued to contact me.  He saw online photos of me and began to make very sexually explicit comments and requests.  He then tried to push phone sex on me. 

     I looked up some information about him and found out he has stalked and harassed several young women online, mainly from other depression groups.  I found out that he was 20 years older than me (I’m in my 20s)  and he’s technically old enough to be my father.  He basically seeks out vulnerable teens and young women and tries to push sex on them, and he’s been doing this for years.  The fact he’s studying counseling is extremely alarming.  He was also in an illegal relationship with a 17-year-old, whom he also stalks frequently.  He’s a classic definition of a predator.

     I was so revolted by him.  I told him to never contact me again, and if he did, I would contact law enforcement.  Next I blocked him from every social networking site I knew him in.

     He contacted me from different usernames, saying that he “never meant for things to go so far,” he just became attracted to me, and that I “shouldn’t act so paranoid.” 

     Yes, I should.  He obviously has no self-control, no respect for boundaries, and he won’t leave people alone when they told him to go away.

     I contacted the abuse team on the site, but because he used different user names, it was difficult to stop him.

      He eventually left me alone, but then he called me several months later.  I didn’t recognize his number, so I answered and he said he had something to say to me.  When I realized it was him, I yelled at him, hung up, and changed my number.  I’ve also changed every single one of my usernames online as well as taking down all pictures of myself that were on the Internet.

     He’s now the reason why I no longer participate in depression groups.  He’s also the reason why something so basic as my e-mail is no longer public.  Stalkers, harassers, predators…they just disgust me to no end.

     I am 15 years old, a sophomore in high school.
     One day I missed my bus home from school and I saw this guy that I didn’t know but I did know that he took my bus too. I started talking to him, and he said that since I didn’t know how to get home myself he would walk me home.
     Along the way, we talked about ourselves, and I learned that he was a senior, 18 years old, and lived five minutes away from me. He told me his name. He seemed really nice and I thought everything was going fine.
     Then when we were almost home he reached over and started squeezing my breasts and told me that they were just how he liked them.  He didn’t touch me after that for the rest of the whole walk home.
     I know it sounds like nothing really happened which is why I don’t know why I feel so upset about it. I feel guilty and stupid that I didn’t tell him to stop or that I didn’t like it when he was doing it.  I just went along with it and then moved on to another subject.  I feel angry at him for thinking that it was okay to touch me, and I’m angry that he denies it to all that ask him about it.
     I think about it a lot. I think about why I didn’t react. Why didn’t I say anything? It’s getting harder to concentrate too.
     I already have trust problems. I always had them. Its hard to trust people, and I have been working on getting better at that and then this happens when I trust someone to walk me home unharmed.
     I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling like I should have done something different. Many girls have had it worse than me, much worse. So I don’t even know if I have the right to be upset cause all he did was touch my breasts.

     This happened a year ago, when I was a junior in High School.

     At first I didn’t pay much attention to what was happening. There is a guy who goes to my school. I started seeing him every where I went, i.e. if I went to a store or a burger restaurant. I just told myself that I kept seeing him everywhere because we live in a small town. But his actions were escalating. He went from just following me to becoming friends with my close friends and he started hanging out with us.

     I told my friends I was concerned about this, but they just told me I was being paranoid.

     Every time I saw “Andrew” he would hang me for a long time and say I looked good. And he always came up to me and hugged me from behind and kissed my neck. This went on for a while.

     Andrew was always asking me out and I always told him “No.” At first when I rejected him he would be nice and say OK. But after a while, every time I said “No” he became mad and called me names.

     I thought he would eventually get a hint and leave me alone.

     I don’t know how, but he got my cell number and started texting me.  At first I ignored him but then he starting sending me messages saying things like “If you don’t go out with me I’ll kill myself.”

     After a while I felt guilty, so I accepted. I wish I hadn’t.

     We were in his car when he said that he needed to go back to his house. So he drove back and asked me, “Do you want to come in?”

     I didn’t really trust him so I said, “No thanks.”

     But then he said that his parents wanted to meet me.  So I went in.  But there was no one in the house.

     All of a sudden he grabbed me and kissed me, taking me by surprise. I pushed him off, but he kept trying to kiss me again.  I told him to stop but he wouldn’t listen.  He just laughed when I tried to push him off because I couldn’t since he was bigger and stronger.  He pushed me to the floor and unzipped my pants.

     I panicked and started kicking wildly, and I hit him between the legs and he got off me. I ran as fast as I could and got out.  I ran all the way home.

     I told my mom what happened, but she told me that it was my fault.  She said that I was asking for it by going into his house.  I couldn’t believe my mom blamed me for almost getting raped.

     Now, I constantly blame myself.   If I had just said  ”No” to the date, this wouldn’t have happened.  I see him every single day at school.  I feel embarrassed, scared and helpless.  I don’t know what to do.

     My boyfriend’s step father has been sexually harassing me for over five years.  When no one was around, he would say things like ”You are so good looking. You must have men and women coming onto you all the time.”  He would ask about my sexual success and details about mine and my boyfriend’s sex life, whether it was good or not, etc etc. He would leer at me in a sexual way.  Once I spilt something on my skirt and he took it on himself twice to brush my skirt off  where my vagina is, and not where the spill stain was.  When his wife was not around, he would leer and ask if he could contact me by phone.  Often he would call me from a club where he sleazes on Sundays. 

     One evening I went to a Mothers Day party and my boyfriend’s family was there.  Later in the evening, his stepfather came up to me and says “You look so delicious, I want to eat you” and leered at me in a very sexual way.  As we all left the party together, he put his arm around my waist then quickly placed it on my bottom and started fondling it. I hit his hand away.  He quickly put his hand back there, I knocked his hand away again.  He asked me again about my boyfriend’s and my sex life, asking if he is a “good root.”  Then he asked me if I like it when he (the stepfather) touches me.   (I said “No.”) Then he asks me again if he can ring me??  

     Can you believe it?? I mean is this creep delusional or what? 

     I had told my boyfriend about his behaviour to me in the past and we decided to overlook it because I did not want to upset his mum.  However, after what happened on Mother’s Day, we could not stay quiet about it.

     We decided to tell the mother about how her husband was behaving, requesting that we not see him again, and to let her know that we wont stay at their house again if he is there. She agreed with that, and said she did not believe that her husband would try to touch me. A week later, she called us and said he just says inappropriate things when he is nervous in company and that it was just silly nothing. It also came out that he had been getting relationship counselling for the last two years because of the “inappropriate” things he says to women. In other words, she’s minimizing his behaviour. The mother is in denial and condones him.

     Later, my boyfriend’s brother tried to convince my boyfriend that I am lying based on a photo of me taken on that Mothers Day night and I am standing next to the stepfather and am smiling.  (The photo was taken before he fondled me.)  His sister-in-law also said he has not been like that to her and she is having trouble believing it.

     So basically the position now is that no one in my boyfriend’s family believes us at all (except his dad and step-mum).  I have been tarnished “a liar.”  I have told my boyfriend I want nothing more to do with them, its like any bad relationship–you cut it.  Its people like this lot that allow sexual harassers to perpetuate.  I am sure he wont change and hope he does not do the same to the grand daughter who is just hitting puberty.

     My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend said that when they were going out, the step-father would ask about their sex life. She thought he was a creep and would not stay in the house with him if no one else was there.  She totally believes me and is disgusted how they have sided with him as he is sick.

     It’s a case of the sexual harassment victim being branded the guilty party and the harasser supported and regarded as the victim!!  This whole episode has made me feel very sad.   It has ruined my relationship with my boyfriend’s family and I had a good relationship with them!!

     When I hear the words “sexual harassment” institutions like school or the workplace are the first settings that come to mind; yet unwanted and inappropriate sexual situations can pop up in so many more locations. 

     Last night, I was at a friend’s house for a small party.  At about midnight I decided that since nobody was sober enough to drive me home, I’d just walk. 

     I live in a safe neighborhood, but walking so late at night had me feeling very nervous.  I was still about fifteen minutes from my house when a man stopped at a stop sign asked me if I would like a ride home.  I knew the danger of accepting a ride from a stranger, but in my foolishness I got into his car and made a plan to jump out if anything suspicious happened.  

     He drove me to what I said was a house I was visiting, and asked for a hug for good bye.  Taking it as a friendly gesture, I hugged him.  Then as I was about to get out he asked for a kiss, and I said “no, I have a boyfriend.”  Then he quickly cupped my breast, and as I got out of the car, grabbed my crotch.  He yelled something after me, but I was running to the door too quickly to hear it.
     I realize how completely naive and stupid I was to do something like accept a ride from a stranger…so much worse could have happened to me.  I feel terrible that this man who fooled me into thinking he was a kind and helpful person was in fact just a predatory creep.  Even worse than the regret of what actually happened with my irresponsible decision to get into that car are the feelings of horror of what could have happened

     It was the night of my friend’s huge birthday party, when I was a junior high school. I was so pumped to be going, especially after hearing my crush of several years would be there. I got dressed -to-impress and headed for my friend’s house. Not to my surprise, the house was full of drunk teenagers.

     After an hour or so, I was feeling a little uncomfortable around the drunks, so I went to my friend’s room.  I lay down on the bed and  called a friend to have them come pick me up.

     I was pleasantly surprised when my crush came out of the bathroom and started talking to me. We were flirting and everything went well until his fingers started to wander. He was now touching my breasts and thighs. I moved his hand away but he would not stop. I was about to leave the room when he pushed me back down and planted a sloppy kiss on my lips then my neck and placed his entire body against me.  He was whispering vulgar sexual remarks of what he wanted to do to me.

     It was hard to fight him  off because he is much stronger and bigger than me. I pushed him off but he kept saying “I know you like me, you don’t have to be so shy. I know you like it.”  He asked me to give him a “blow job.”  His privates were bulging out of his pants.

     I was furious. I was calling for help but I didn’t get a response. I was so enraged and disgusted so I finally managed to jump up and kicked him hard in his crotch. He was down now, so I escaped.

     I felt so soiled and heart broken, I couldn’t even look in the mirror. To top it off, he tells his friends that he had sex with me. He got what he deserved, but I have never been the same person since then.

     A minister of my church would tell me constantly that God was giving him dreams that we were having sex.  He even asked me if I was shaved.
     Another pastor at the church told me to masturbate and told the other men of the church.  He even went as far to joke to the other men that I should purchase a dildo!  It seems like he is always watching me and trying to approach me for conversation.  One time he grabbed me and kissed me on the cheek while greeting me. Yuck!!!!  I can’t stand being around him.
     How can he preach Jesus and, at the same time, be constantly preying on women?
     People told me I should forgive and move on.  Should I find another church?  What is going on here???